Perasaan ini..

betul aku x boleh lupakan dia.
Cuba mcm mana pun.. mmg x boleh..
malah makin kuat ingtkan kamu syg :(

B pnt.. b demam hari nie..
tapi.. kamu xder temankan b..
b ingt dlu masa b demam..
syg bwk b p mkn .. b rindu waktu dlu..
b rindu syg..

Terima kasih sbb masih terus berhubung dgn b..
b x kuat tanpa syg..
semangat b hanya dr syg..
klu syg xder.. b rasa kosong hidup b
wlupun b ade kje nak setle.. b lngsung x ingt..
b x leh buat aperpun..
b asyik tgk fon dan berharap syg wsup or text b..
Lepas tu.. br b senyum.. n excited nak siapkan kjer b

B syg syg mcm dlu..
b x pernah kurang menyayangi syg..
makin hari makin teruk rasa syg b dkt syg..
B x tau apa akan jadi dkt kita nnti..

B x kisah.. klu x kwen dgn syg pun xper..
asalkan syg sentiasa ada dgn b..
sampai mcm tu skali..
b x rasa b boleh terima org lain dlm diri b..
b cuma nak syg..........

syg org pertama yg ikhlas sukakn b..
dlu mmg b pernah sukakan org lain..
tapi b xpernah rasa syg smpi tahap ni..
n b x pernah ada hgngn yg serius selama setahun mcm ni..
b terlalu berharap..
setiap hari .. setiap solat b doa syg..
b doa syg jodoh b..
b doa semoga family kita boleh terima hbngn kita..
b tau doa b makbul bila mama n ayah dah boleh terima syg..
b tau doa b makbbul bila hbgn kita berjalan dgn baik dan gembira..
Tapi..bila dah hamper Berjaya...
satu doa tu x makbul.. bila parent syg x setuju utk hbgn ni..

b masih berharap.. dan b sanggup tnggu.. klu parent syg halang sbb syg masih muda.
lg 2 tahun.. b snggup tnggu.. klu mama n ayah b izinkan b tnggu
Tapi.. klu mmg parent syg xnak sbb b org luar.. or sbb b jauh beza dgn syg..
b x boleh berharap dah..

Saat tu nnti.. b pun x tau keadaan b..
boleh ker b lupakan syg..
bolehke b lupakan kngn dlu
bolehker b terima org baru dlm hdup b


 

Keluarga Tak Merestui :(

Tarikh ni 25/3/14..
X tau apa perasaan ini..

Bila dia wussup bg tau.. ayah dia x bagi untuk bertunang..
Hancur hati ini..
Tapi aku dah agak dari awal..
inilah jawapn yg aku akan dapat.

Klu ada sesiapa yg berada di tempat aku skrg.. mesti tau mcm mana rasa yg tersekat kat sudut hati..
x terluah dgn kata..
hanya air mata tiba2 mengalir..
Pedih..perit... pilu..

Bermacam persoalan bermain difikiran..
Bolehkah aku bersendirian tanpa dia..?
Kenangan lalu yg tiba2 muncul bertalu2 tanpa henti..
Kenangan kami yg sentiasa bersama..
x pernah lekang..
setiap hari mesti jmpa dia..
melainkan kalau dia balik bercuti di kampong..

Kenangan kami breakfast/lunch/dinner bersama..
Tengok wayang.. bercuti.. genting..tasik.. shopping..
Puasa..berbuka.. raya..
sedihnyer ya allah..

Dulu masa kerja satu tempat.. x kiralah..bila dia cuti..dia mesti dtg jenguk aku kat office..
lunch same2,..
Klau aku cuti.. aku pun akan buat perkara yg sama..
Bahagianya kehidupan kami..

betullah kata pepatah,..
ingtkan cerah sampai ke petang..
rupanya hujan di tgh hari..
Klau family dah x merestui..
x mngkin jodoh kami disini..

Tapi kami tetap saling sayang menyayangi..
B akan sentiasa doakan untuk kamu sayang..
semoga suatu hari.. jika ditakdirkan kita bersama..
hati b akan sentiasa terbuka untuk syg..



p/s : tarikh ni juga .. celebrating my father 58th bufday... baru pas mkn2 tadi..
May allah bless u ayah.. dan dikurnikan kesihatan yg baik

 

Always think bout this everyday

Why I can't stop think bout him?
It's been almost everyday in my dream..
Once I wake up..
My mind just think about you & her..

I do no whether my speculation bout both of u is correct or not
but deep in my heart..i can feel they are in relationship rite now..
and I'm far away from them..
how can I find the truth ya allah..
its bother me every second..
I don't want to loose him but at da same time.. I always think to give up..

How critical is my situation rite now.?
I saw several pictures of them in hers file..

Just now I saw a pic of teddy bear..
the gurl captured and put it in her instgram..
with the caption like this" He said.."play with this first while I'm bz rite now"..
"He" is belong to who?
in her profile is zaim pictures..
if think logically.. for sure "He" is da very special one..
and the only HE pic in her whole fhoto is zaim..
Does Zaim give her the bear??..
Does Zaim is her special rite now?

If not.. let say she has another Bf other than Zaim..
Surely her BF will mad with all those pictures isn't it??
OMG.. its brought me to deep and deep bout their relationship behind me..

I'm OK if he telling me the truth eventhough it will hurt so hard.. atlease.. I will not being hold to something unclear for the time being..

I will try to accept if u want to end this relationship.. its more better..
Truly sad/hurt/hate/uncomfortable with all of this :(
 

Critical nyer hbngn nie... :(

Hampir putus..
sedih & perit nyer semalam..
2 hari yg lepas sgt memeritkan..
Hope it will nor happen again..

All bcoz of those pictures..
Gambar2 tu sumer.. buat aku tak tenteram..
Profile Pic FB/Twitter/Instg...
kenapa letak gambar zaim?
knapa letak gmbr BF aku??

Persoalan ni yg bermain dalam fikiran aku skrg?..
Apakah motif budak perempuan tu?

Satu jer yg ada dalam fikiran aku..
Bukan suka2 dia letak..
mesti ada sesuatu..
Lynnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.. risaunya kamu..

betul aku mmg risau..
aku xnak org lain ambil dari aku..
aku syg sgt dia..

Skrg asyik fikir yg bukan2..
fikir dia actually ada hbngn dgn bdk tu..
tapi sbb nak jaga hati aku..
xnak la mengaku skrg..

Ya allah...
Sakitnya fikir pasal hal nie..
 

 

Sakitnyer hati bila Nampak pic perempuan lain dgn BF kita..
X tau lah masih ada ruang utk berbaik semula atau x..
sayangkan perhubungan ni..
tapi jujur ke dia?...

Kepercayaan..
ader ker?
setelah semua yg aku tgk dkt FB/Twitter n instagram?
Gambar diorg bersama..

Logic ker..
bila dia kata xder aper..
tu gmbar lama?

Aku bukan bdk kcik utk diperbodohkan
Ya allah.. jujurnya aku masih syang dia..
Tapi mcm mana?..
Apa lagi yg aku perlu buat?

Aku dah cuba sedaya upaya..
menjernihkan keadaan..
menerima dia seadanya..
belajar memahami dia..
Tapi.. knp dia sia2 kan semua tu?

Dia mengambil kesempatan atas kebaikan aku ker?
atau aku sendiri yg mmbuat andaian and tersalah judge tentang dia?

Kalau lah dia berada kat tempat aku skrg..
mngkin kah dia akan rasa apa yg aku rasa..

Xsangka lelaki sebaik ini yg aku sayang..
jadi mcm ni akhirnyer..

perasaan bercampur baur..
mmg dah putus ker aku dgn dia?

penatnyer..
knapa ni semua bukan mmpi?

Kan bagus  kalau mmpi..
aku still sayang dia..............

zaim zahiri ........................perlu ker semua ni jd mcm nie?



 

Perkahwinan adik & Trip to Sabah

X spttnye aku x tulis ttg satu2nyer adik aku yg dah selamat menjadi suami org:)
Alhamdulillah..
semua berjalan lancer,,, sekali lafaz jer settled sumer hee
Banyak sebenarnyer nak tulis.. tapi x der time lah..

Ni pun kne paksa mata tido..
sebb kul 3pg nnti nak bangun n bersiap p Airport..
!st time nak naik flight p Sabah..
berdebar jugak..
Semoga dipermudahkan perjalanan aku.. mama..ayah n maklang nanti..

Orait Dearest diary..
I need to get some nap..
for energy tmorow,,
will continue after I reach home back..
daaa............... :)

01/03/14

Hari ni.. aku akan p Johor untuk jumpa dia..
Terus terang.. I can't accept those happen last few days..
I keep missing him once I decide to break up..
I'm crying the whole day in my office..
its so hurt..
I thought I'm strong enough to face this..
I'm weak...............

Pagi esoknyer setelah break up apa yg terjadi dkt aku dgn dia?..
sunggguh.. so so sad..
I'm waiting for his msg..
eventhough I said don't care about him anymore..
I thought I can..
but I couldn't

I told frenz (mun/ika/alice/puteri/nurul)..
so many rite?..
cuz I can't hold it alone..
I keep on crying
can't do my work at all..

than. on the afternoon.. I followed mun went to puchong..
at lease I can feel a bit release..
than, we met Alice..
having lunch in IOI..
they tried to let me cheer..
but just a moment only..
once I remember him.. I cried..
I see my phone.. whether got his call or text..
Nothing.. :(

after took around 3 hours meet.. we all goin back..
I'm ok a bit..
but deep I miss him so much..
Once I reach my car..
I saw his text..
he said.. B I MISS U:(

Owh my God..
that time.. I'm automatically cry..
and I replied I MISS U TOO..
I cried becoz. I feel so damn miss n suddenly saw text like dat..
totally I feel like my burden is lost..
release..
I feel my head.. light.. :)
I feel praise..
he did miss me too..

Once I reach home..
he text me again..
he said..
B..Saying rindu nak ucap 'morning b'..syg rindu nak cerita kerja syg kat site mcm biasa2..syg rindu nak dgr suara b..Allah je tau b..:(

I'm totally crying on my bed..
I miss him too... totally..

then he call me..
we talk back.. & we'd cried..
Why it happen to us..?

Therefore..
I decide to meet him there..
cuz we had promose to meet before this happen..
i'll go..
and the day is today..
there.. I'm not date as usual..
I would like to discuss further what we should do..
how I want to answer about dis from my family and my grandma..

May everything is just fine..

My mission there is to discuss about our relationship
not date.

u have to remember dat Lynn.

Semoga dipermudahkan.