Permulaan Hari Ini...

May Allah guiding me To be a good muslimah...

DreAmiNg..

Do people will Dream every nite the sleep??
is it a normal?
How aBouT never DreaM foR coUplE of Day??

I ReaLizeD.. i haven'T DreaM thosE lasT cOuPlE of Days..
I'M sLeeP.. WaKeUp Than. iT's alReadY MornIng...
HrMM..

DoE it bEcAuSe i'M so TiRed.
LasT fEw WeeKs weRe my ExaM tIme.
So I haD nOt eNouGht sLeEp as  foR 8 HoUrs as UsuaL.
cUz i aLwaY's wakE uP iN miDdLe oF Nite to StuDy..
OnCe i WoKe Up.. It"s ReaLlY haRd To SlEep BacK..
sO thaT alMosT moRninG oNlY i caN clOse mY EyeS..
TheN, aT 6am waKe Up AgaIn foR baThinG n SolaT..
tHan pRepaRed my self fOr wOrk..
hUh.. No WonDer i Had No TimE foR DreaM..
i GueSs thAt da reaSon :)

Huh>>
WeLl toDay i WokE uP..
alReadY 8.28am..
huh..hEaVy RaiNinG oUtsiDe my wIndOw..
No WoNder i CoUldn't wakE up..
iT's coLd..
mY BoDy FuLly CoverEd wiTh blAnket..

SuDDenLy i rememberEd..
oPs..
TodaY i goT RepLacEmenT cLass fOr TuisYen at 9am..
SemPaT ker??
naK mandi??
tU jer DaH ambik 15 mIniT palIng cepaT..
bUt Dgn KeaDaan  yg mcm Nie..
15 miNit x cUkup..
ni Kne amBik 30 mnts..
aIyoo..

i'm seRchIng foR mY pHone..
thAt i rEaLly do No wHere diD i tHrew..
sOme mOre tHe SoUd was so Slow..
rUshIng looKing For It..
lUckIy foUnd it..

O-O...
HeR mOthEr did caLled me thIs earLy mOrnIng..
goT misCall TheRe..
GoR msg soMe mOre.. aiYooo..
wHat To Do??

OnLy One IdEa caMe ouT..
cHanGe todaY's clas tO nExt TuesdaY..
FasTlY pRess The aLphaBeT n maKe uP soMe nIce SenTenCe to Read..
It sOund Like THis:

GooD MRniNg mdm,
soRry cuz laTe inFoRmiNg..
10 am i'll go to malacca..
i'll try to replace it on tUesdaY. Tq

Huh.. wHaT a NiCe seNteNce..
EarLy mOrnIng..
OnCe i'd oPen My eyes..
i Made a sin...
i lied...
huh..
Lyn....

bUt acTuaLly i haD an inTenT to CanCeL todaY class..
bUt i JusT forGoT to InfoRm HeR onLy yestErdaY..
huh..

alRite.. seem's like alreadY happen..
So.. let go onLy la..
The tHinG is..
U haVe to LearN to InfOrm anYthIng eaRly..
AvOid WAIT..

aLrite..
mama just called..
Have to go BreakFast..

fasTer havIng a bath wiTh da COLD..COLD WATeR...
CEJUKNyERRRRRRR ^_^

Yes..abis exam :)

alhamdulillah...
tenang nyer rasa hati..
berbunger2..^_^

exam last for this sem abis tadi..
huh.. hanya tuhan sahaja yg tau betapa aku terlalu gumbira..
seolah2.. nafas tersambung balik.. Fuhhh..

Punyela every nite struggle wake up malam ...
bacer buku..
sbb siang x cukup time...
last nite ..last wake up..
cuz today is da last paper..

all done..
just see the result coming out ..
what will i get??
hrmm??...

don't want to think la..
yang penting sumernyer berjalan dgn lancar..
kuar dewan pun lancar gak..
1st time lom abis masa aku melangkah keluar utk pulang..
sbb terlalu gumbira kot pasni xder paper..
Yeayyyy :)

Balik umah jer..
tgk2 ayah n mama tgh tgu aku balik,,,
nak ajak p minum ptg..

Dari shah alam ke Klang...
sampai Klang.. p shah alam balik..
nak minum tepi tasik nyer pasal..
tempat tu mmg cantik..
even mknn die x baper nak sedap..
yang penting aku senang bangatttt dgn surrounding die..
sungguh cantik.. n mendamaikan...

Tadi ingt nak minum jer..makan ringan2
tetiber terasa mcm nak makan malam skali...
so aku orderla ayam penyet 1 set..
Bile sampai.. ayam die x penyet pun..
segar bugar je kepak die cam leh terbang balik..

 curik pic ayah tgh makan...  ^_^

 Gado -Gado.. 1st time raser .. not bad.. as usual..keropok paling sedap

 Nice view:)

 CoPy Paste.. mama n me.  But my PP cam duit 50sen .. O..O

i Love This pLAce...

alrite...so.. the conclusion is..
I'M SO HEPYYYYYYY .. ^_^

it's almost 7.30am already..
but the sky...
ir's cloudy.. no sun..
it might raining this morning....

will i see this picture again in future??
hrmm...

now i only realize...
i never see same pattern of sky each days..
it different everyday..
that's how allah do..
allah is the all mighty...

may my days will be greater than before n before..
bless me allah...
 ^_^

Alhamdulillah

Alhamdulillah ...
Terharu...
Gembira...
Allah makbulkan doa aku..syukur..

After more than 3 months i didn't meet my granny..
at last .. yesterday i went to her house..
i thought wan don't want me to meet her..
because i thought wan still mad at me..

And i imagined a lot in my head...
my stomach feel like having a lot of butterflies fly around it..
huhu..
i always think what will happen if wan see me..
surely she don't want to see me..
or she will not gonna let me to enter her house..

but Once i came..
isaw her watching tv..
she saw me n i open the door..
i slowly come to her..
want to salam...
but..
i really didn't expect.. she grab my hand n kiss me too long..
wan really miss me..
i oso miss wan..
it's my false bcoz didn't visit her quit long..
bcoz i scared she will scolde me like before...

i truly miss wan..
everyday i hope i want to meet her..
but i'm scared..
somemore wan never call me..
so i guess wan really hate me already..
everytime i want to call her...but i'm afraid i will sad if wan don't want to answer..
or don't want to speak to me... i will cry if dat happen..
So .. i stop my self from visit n call her to avoid something sad even i miss wan a lot..lot..lot..
Only allah knows how much i love n i care about my granny..

But last two days were the happy moment i had..
i slept at wan house..
Chit chat with wan..
somemore i miss wan massage my hair during sleeping at night..
Wan know i like dat..
i will easily sleep when wan do dat thing to me.. ^_^.

Sunday morning..
Wan wake me up cuz i'm working dat day..
wan made my fav brkfast..
Roti Canai.. ermm.. da taste so good..
i ate 3 pcs.. heee..
Somemore got nescafe o.. wow..

Then, i went back to my office to do OT as usual..
After work..
i get back to KL.. to meet wan again..
i miss her a lot..
so i want to having a lot of time with her..
she looked hapy when i'm there..

From now on..
i promise dat i will try to meet her whenever i have free time..
to ensure her days will fullfill with happiness..

i love u wan..
truly love you ^_^

Well.. it's my false yesterday cuz didn't reply my student's mother call..
because i'm buzying of having fun with my frenz..

So i deserve for it..
p umah die..
she not at home..
well..well..well..

by da way i think my fon got problem already..
or both of us phone got problem..
or the line last nite got prolem...

why??..
it was 10 something PM last nite..
i afraid to return her call cuz will disturb her for sleep..
So.. i did send msg to her..
asking about today's class..
i thought she read n understand cuz she didn't reply..
but.........................
hrmm.. she didn't receive it at all..

she told me just now..
when i was infront of her house ready to come in..
she really shocked looking at me..
She apology many time...
cuz she thought that was her fall didn't call n inform me this morning..
huh..not her fall at all..
it was mine..

yeah..she said she did call me..
it's true..
i saw her miscall..
she oso said she sent up me a msg inform me about today's class cancelled..
that one i didn't receive..
she oso didn't receive my msg..

so i assume...
That was a phone problem..
we've been manipulated by gadget..
can i assume dat ??
i think can :)

So i did wast some of my time to do more urgent things..
such as.. cleanup my room..
clean up my house..
clean up my car..
washing my cloths...
The most important is..
READING MY BOOK FOR THIS COMING EXAM...

aiyarkk....
This entry oso contribute to one of my wasting time too
faster lyn..
finish all ur works...
bcoz ayah said..
today he want to bring us to kampung in melaka...
visiting my granny..

alrite my diary..
will leave u for a whileeeeeeeee only ^_^

Alhamdulillah..
syukur sbb allah makbulkan doa aku..
hrmm
hari nie seronok sangat...
sbb.. aper erk??

well... sbb aku dgn abg dah baik2 balik semula..
seronoknyer..
p keje dgn hapy sangat wlupun mata obviously sembab heeee..

Hrmm.. well actually pagi tadi mmg serba salah nak kuar bilik sbb takut terserempak dgn abg pyan heee//
maklumla mata dah bengkak tahap gaban.. fuhhh..
sadis btul aku malam tadi..
dalam keadaan yg sangat sedih..
sbb penat nangis sampai tertido terus..
bangun2 jer nak solat subuh..mata x leh bukak..
boleh tu mmg la boleh...
tapi bukak kicik jer.. xleh besar cam bese sbb bengkak huhu..
kelam kabut aku mandi n siap2..
pastu aku kuar p culik iron jap.. sbb nak tuam mata aku yg bengkak ni..
hopefully leh la kurangkan sikit bentuk die..
huh.. hampeh..
aku tenyeh ngn towel yg dah dituam pun x ilang jugak..
perbezaan nyer just mata aku leh bukak besar sikit jer dari before..
hrmmm...

Fuhh.. bersungguh2 aku bangun n siap awal2 sbb nak p kuar umah awal..
sbb x nak terserempak dn abg pyan nnti aku rasa janggal pulak kalau x bertegur sapa.. heee..
Macam2 aku plan dalam kepala..
mcm maner cara2 nak kuar bilik supaya x teserempak dgn dia ..
Tu la penangan kalau dah tergadoh ..

So masa dah siap pagi tu aku pun kuar bilik..
Dalam masa yg sama abg pyan pun kuar jugak..
adoii.. mana nak nyorok mater nie..
pura2 x nampak die.. n turun bawah laju2..
bukak pintu tgk ader keter ke x der nak p kedai mama ni..
xnak naik keter dgn dia punyer pasal..
turun bawah tgk2 ayah ader pulak..
seb baik.. leh p dgn ayah...

So aku pun p la depan cermin kat hall makan pure2 betulkan tudung yg sememangnyer dah cun dari dalam bilik lagi sbb abg pyan pun turun gak nak p awal..
sama la plak plan..
Bukan aper...aku pure2 betulkan tudung sbb nak cover mata yg merah2..

Tetiber abg pyan datang kat aku pulak..
suddenly dia mintak maaf n hulur tangan minta maaf..
heee..
aku pun aper lagi..
sambutla tangan die..
die cium pipi aku mcm biasa la..
heheh..
bestnyer dah baik balik..
Tapi tulah..
aku x ckp mintak maaf sama..
aku just cakap.. hrmm tau pun..
sambil senyum2 kambing ..
aper la
aku nie..
mmg aku x sempat nak cakap sbb aku tergamam n happy n terharu..
hah.. aper lagi masa tu jugak lah air mata rasa nak menitik sbb terharu n gembira..
cepat2 aku p minum air kat atas meja wlupun x dahaga bagi mengelakkan tangisan kegembiraan..^_^
mmg seronok sangat..
bukan sbb die mintak maaf..
sbb aku x tenteram kalau gadoh dgn die..
sbb die jer org yg aku rasa aku paling rapat utk luahkan segala masaalah suker n duka..
sbb die mmg syang n memahami aku..
sayang abg pyan ..

Pastu pagi tadi mama n ayah pun agaknyer dapat agak kami dah ok balik sbb abg pyan brkfast satu meja n borak dgn aku..
Aku sure die tahu aku nanges..
tgk muker aku pun taulah..
wlupun aku cuber menyembunyikan mata yg sembab dgn eyeliner..
perhh.. mmg xleh nyorok la.,,,
malu..tapi bantaila..

Mama n ayah tau aku nangis..
diorg senyap jer..
x banyk borak dn aku mcm biasa..
sbb diorg mungkin xnak aku segan kot..
tanyer pun sepatah2 jer hehehehe..

Tapi aku rasa abg pyan pun nanges jugak kot smlm..
sbb pagi tadi die semer2..
and idung die mcm merah2 jer heheheh..
kami adik beradik mmg mcm nie...
sama jer..

sampai office...
they said..
why today ur face looked different??
what is it..
huh.. we know..
u'd cried..hahha..
well.. i'd be teasing by them..
but i don't care..
the things is even my eyes were small..
but i still can smile n laugh happily..
my work so perfect today...
because i'm happy ...^_^


alhamdulillah ..
ya allah .. terima kasih..
semoga kami adik beradik n keluarga saling sayang menyayangi..

hari yg gembira adalah hari ini ^_^...

Aku x tau mana nak mula..
Tapi..
tadi mmg aku marahkan sgt abg aku..
sbb ader sesuatu yg die buat yg agak humiliated me in front other peopl..
specially my freinds n customer..

Dia kata itu aderlah satu gurauan
and aku x sepatutnyer ambil hati and biarkan marah aku berlarutan sampai ke meja makan..
mmg aku salah sbb bercakap kasar dgn abg aku.
Tu sumer sbb perasaan marah yg meluap2 dalam dada aku yg mcm x leh nak bendung..
aku tau aku salah sbb mentioned it kat meja makan dpn mama n ayah..
then somemore aku tinggikan suara lagi..
huh...mmg aku teruk..
mm aku stuborn..
but i really cannot handle it anymore..
niat aku mule2 mmg nak pendam..
n let it release by time..
tapi aku rasa sbg adik aku x layak tegur abg aku dgn sikap die..
so aku nak biar mama n ayah tegur die..
tapi lain plak jadinyer..

Abg marah aku ..
n aku tau die sangat kecil hati dgn sikap aku..
aku menyesal..
tapi sampai bile aku nak tgk die x behave diri die mcm tu kalau aku silent??
die fikir aper shj yg die buat tu satu gurauan..
guarauan yg x kene tempat
semuanya bergurau..
x nak ambik serious..
sampai biler??

Aku pernah tersinggung dgn perbuatan die..
Tapi sumer aku diam n x ambik port wlupun aku marah..
Tapi tadi mmg aku dah hilang sabar..
Die bunyikan hon kereta berkali2 dkt depan bank aku time aku tgh bercakap dgn customer..
masa tu pun mmber aku ika ada skali ..
Customer did ask me smthing about tomorrow new notes..
aku tgh xpalin abg pyan leh pulak tekan hon berkali2..
mcm menunjukkan yg die x sabar nak suh aku dtg cepat kat keter..
patut ker??
aku cnfius..
salah ker aku marah?
salah ker aku ambik ati??
biler aku rasa di malukan dgn perbuatan die.
seolah2 keluarga aku jenis yg x sabar..

aku x create cerita..
and aku x buat andaian..
customer masa lepas habis ckp dgn aku pun terus pandang dkt kereta abg..
mcm nak tau knapa hon tu di tekan berkali2..
aku pun x tau mcm mane nak buat..
terdetik dalam hati au x nak p kat keter abg..
and nak masuk dalam ofis balik sbb segan dgn org keliling yg perhatikan ..
Tapi aku teruskan jugak melangkah...
walaupun aku rasa malu yg teramat sangat sbb sumer org yg ader kat situ dok tgk..

Once aku masuk kereta aku mmg dah nak marah habis2 san..
Tapi sbb ader kwn die aku kawal marah aku sbb x nak malukan die
n aku x nak kwn die ingt aku kurang ajar sbb marahkan abg..
aku sbar wlupun dada aku sakit menahan kemarahan yg meluap2 mcm gunung berapi nak meletus..

sampai umah.. aku terus keluar dari kereta tanpa sebaran words pun kat abg..
die hon pun aku x pandang..
aku masih lagi terfikirkan pasal customer tadi n kawan aku yg tgk aku naik keter yg memekak dgn bunyik hon..

Aku terus masuk bilik n baring dkt atas katil ..
masa tu air mata dah menitis..
dada aku sebak n nafas ditarik dalam utk tahan tangisan..
tapi sia2...
air mata aku menitis jugak n perasaan marah semakin menjadi2..

aku terus mandi.. n berwudhuk..
utk tunaikan solat asar..
masa berwudhuk aku harap dapat cool kan perasaan marah..
lepas solat pun aku berdoa...
Tapi last2 kat meja makan jugak aku luahkan dgkt abg pyan perasaan x puas hati..
Time tu mmg mama n ayah ader skali..
mmg aku sengaja choose time tu biar mama n ayah tau aper die buat..
and sbb aku sbg adik..x layak nak tegur die...
aku harap mama n ayah yg tegur..
biar die sedar perbuatan die tu salah...

Ayah n mama dgr aper yg aku argue ..
masa tu meja makan agak bising..
abg salahkan aku sbb x pandai nak kawal perasaan..
spttnyer aku kne bersikap terbuka n terima itu sbg gurauan..
patut ker??
perlu ke aku nak accept perkara mcm tu..
aku mentioned dpan mama n ayah sbb nak pandangan mereka..
biar mama n ayah dgr..
and tegur ..
aku x kisah mama n ayah nak marah aku ..
sbb aku sendiri pun x yakin dgn diri aku yg berkecil hati dgn perbuatan abg pyan..
aku terima dgn redha kalau mama n ayah kata perbuatan aku tu salah..
sbb aku tau..
org tua tau lebih banyak perkara..
lebih dlu makan garam dari kiter yg muda nie..
aku x kisah...
tegurla kalau aku salah..
mmg aku terima seadanya..

Tapi mama n ayah x salah kan sesiapa dalam hal ni..
cumer mama n ayah tegur sikap abg pyan..
n sepatutnyer abg pyan kne tau maner tmpat y boleh bergurau n mana tidak,..
sama jugak dgn masa..

Ayah ckp ayah x sebelahkan sesiapa..
cumer ayah tegur sikit sikap abg pyan..
and abg mungkin rasa marah..
bangun n terus naik atas

Tapi die cakap aku mmg selalu x puas ati n die..
slalu nak carik kesalahn die..
Ya allah..
aku x pernah mcm tu..
aku sayang kan die sangat..
aku hormat die sbg abg..
aku percayakan die sbg pelindung aku sekeluarga..
aku selalu ingt die setiap hari..
ok ker kerja die hari nie??
bisness die smooth ker??
ader org marah kat die ker?
ader org nak manipulate die ker..
die penat x??

aku sgt risau kalau die keluar malam ..
aku selalu tgu die balik sbb aku risau..
setiap kali aku tersedar..
aku mesti perhatikan luar rumah
tgk ader ker kereta die kat garaj..
dah balik Ker???
sbb aku risau akan keselamatan die..
sbb aku sayang die..
aku takut kalau dgr sesuatu yg buruk ttg die
Tapi die x pernah tau...

Yang die tau..
hanya cakap aku budak yg manjer..
mama n ayah lebih sygkan aku..
aper yg aku nak sumer diikutkan..

aku x..
aku bukan mcm tu..
apa yg aku nak aku usaha sendiri...
aku x meminta2..
abb aku bukan mcm tu..
dan aku sgt malu kalau aku seorg yg mcm tu..
mungkin sbb die slalu tgk aku selalu melekat dn ayah n mama maner2 diorg p..
tu yg die decide aku manjer..
aku p mana 2 dgn mama n ayah kadang2 bukan aku nak..
kadang2 aku ader ader bnyk benda lain nak buat..
nak baca buku.. nak buat asgmnt..
nak keluar dgn kawan..
Tapi tu sume aku tolak tepi sbb nak temankan ayah n mama..
sbb aku risau keselamatan diorg..
ayah dah tua..
msti penat nak drive..
kalau drive pun nnti boring xder org nak sembang sbb mama confirm tido..
nnti ayah ngntuk pulak..
tu sumer la yg aku risau..
aku risau keselamatan mama n ayah..
kalau mama n ayah p maner2 tanpa aku..
aku msti telefon tnyer dkt maner..
nak2 kalau hari dah malam..
risau..
sumer aku buat sbb risau...

aku penat..
aku terlalu risaukan keluarga aku..
org keliling aku..

aku sedar aku x perfect..
tapi aku cuber perbaiki diri aku menjadi lebih baik..

Cantiknter bulan dkt depan bilik aku hari nie..
Agaknyer esok ader bulan mcm nie lagi x ?
esok msti tgk lagi..^_^

Hopefully Today will be a greater day for me than yesterday..

enjoy ur work lyn..

but please start with bismillah..

do not forget :)

It's time for me to get ready for work..
see you soon my diary... ^_^

Bismillah..
Hrm..
Hari ni bermulanya life aku dgn bismillah..
alhamdulillah still alive..
still can solat subuh..
still can hear the song of birds from my room :)
feel so release..
Outside stil got no sun yet..
it just calm only
once i open my window..
i take a deep breath..
the air feel fresh..
so good today's morning..
what will happen next??
only allah shj yg tahu..

well.. i feel like want to write something in my blog..
so.. i did..
that's all..
may my life today will be greater...
i want to keep happy n healthy..
meeting people with sincere smile..
may allah bless me..

assalamualaikum my diary..

This year aku tertinggal saat penting utk aku catitkan cerite about me..
y??
sbb lot's of things happened..
things dat cannot afford me to write..
i got lot of free time to jot down.
but i'm ill..

sakit..demam..
hrm... penghalang kepada permulaan diary ini..

tahun lepas..
aku rasa xder apa y menggembirakan diri aku langsung..
nothing..
i'm totally out of feeling last year..
really out..
my life everyday just for work n study..
n alhamdulillah my work became more better..
n my study still quit proud me..


sudah 8/1/2011..
alhamdulillah..sekali lagi aku masih boleh bernafas di dunia ciptaan allah s.w.t
alhamdulillah...
x semua mmpu bertahan..
Tapi bukan la sesuatu yg gembira kalau kiter mmpu bertahan selama beribu tahun pun..
lagi lama kite bertahan..
lagi banyakla.. dosa yg kita bakal lakukan..
kecil atau besar sumer ditangan kiter ..
takutnyer..

Sometime terasa mcm nak bukak buku catatan sendiri n catit ape dosa aku setiap hari..
tapi mustahil..
Tahun baru nie.. banyak kesalahan yg aku buat..
tu pun yg aku sedar..
yg x sedar apatah lagi..

aku cuber berubah..
aku harap tahun ni lebih baik dari tahun lepas
hrmm..
baik ke aku tahun lepas??
nope..
aku x baik..
Tp aku sedar..
tahun lepas tahun paling kurang bersosial..
aku pun kurang berkawan..
aku x campur hal org disekeliling aku langsung..
dan aku rasa tenang..

what happen last year was a successful part of my plan..




i locked my heart from anyone who love me



i locked my heart to love guy..



because i want to see da result without man in life..



yeah i agreed dat i'm free..



but.. it's was TOTALLY BORING..



hrm..




HATI??
hrm.. sunguh ..
rasa tenang hanya pada fikiran..
HATI aku.... i don't think so...
it's always bother me..
my feeling always touched..

Last year.. i always sit alone in my room..
lying at my bed early in da nite..
looking at moon..
frequently like dat


THIS year i will looking something for my heart
Hope i could get miracle..
semoga ader keajaiban yg berlaku this year..
i want to be love..
and love someone who love me..
hope my heart can start accept people who love me..
HEART.. ...........................................................................

Ya allah.. please give me a right guy..
guy dat can lead me to you..
because i'm failed to be a good khalifah..
i need someone who can guide me..
that's what i need ..
Someone who can lead me to you..

i'm so cruel