baiklah..
mulai saat ini..
xder lg dia dlm hidup aku..
aku percaya dgn pilihan parent..

i know u can lynn..
chayokkk!!!!!!!
don't let ur self sad bcoz of guy who can't love u..
dat

ya allah...
tabahkan hati ku ya allah..
aku sangat merinduinya..

perasaan ini...
sangat sakit...........

kuatkan lah imanku ya allah.....
semoga aku mampu menerima insan lain
selain darinya........

bantu lah aku ya allah......
sesungguhnya hati ini sangat lemah...
seluruh hati aku hanya ada dia

Kalau dia bukan milikku..
hindarkan dia dari pemikiranku..
jauhkanlah dia..
berikanlah aku kekuatan utk melupakan dia.......
lepaskan ingatan aku darinya

 

2 hari

25/12/12-26/12/12

2 hari yg menggembirakan..dan menyedihkan..........
x sangka perkara ni terjadi dlm diri aku..
peliknya..
mcm novel pulak..
aku ker yg create?

hrmm..
aku br pas balik mkn malam dgn ofis mate..
seronok sangat rasa..
apatah lg bila DIA bersama..
terasa mcm aper yg aku harapkan selama ni..
bahagia nya.......sangat bahagia..

semalam lagi seronok..
lgi bahagia...........
bila masa tu seolah2 utk kami..
kami........................                            

DIA bermaksud............................
wlupun x smpi sebulan aku knal dia,
tapi dia lah satu2 nyer lelaki yg berjaya buat aku jatuh hati,
dan secara officially nya,.
aku percaya cinta itu wujud selama aku hidup 28 tahun..
inilah pertama kali aku rasa CINTA..

pertama kali aku merasakan betapa nikmatnya disayangi dgn org yg aku syg..
xpernah aku rasa mcm nie..
sbb org tu x pernah wujud..

skrg aku percaya,
cinta antara 2 insan yg saling mencintai mmg wujud..
aku bahagia semalam..
sangat sangat bahagia..

wlupun aku tau kami xkan kemana..
krn pelbagai cabaran yg x mampu kami tempuh..
xkan mmpu..
banyak halangan dan cabaran..
xmmpu untuk hidup berdua..
x mungkin terjadi..

sayang..rasa tu hanya bertahan sekejap.............
masa yg diberi sangat suntuk..
sangat2 suntuk..

kenapa?..
bila aku dah jmper..
masa pula x mengizinkan..
bila x..
terlalu banyak masa smpi aku boring..
sekarang, mmg aku xnak miss wlu sesaat pun dgn dia..

aku sayangkan dia sangat..
teramat..

tapi allah tu maha menyayangi n mengasihi..
jodoh telah ditentukan...
bukan dgn dia........................

aku dirisik tadi...........
org yg aku x kenal..
hanya parent kami saling mengenali............

perkara ni mmbuatkan aku kaku,...
x terkata.....................
mama n ayah perlukan jawapan.........
dlm masa yg sama.. seolah2 mmg berharap aku terima

Tak sampai hati rasanya nak tolak keinginan mama n ayah..
mmg aku x kan tolak..
x mungkin aku tolak..

mungkin aku bg jawapan hari ni..
walaupun hati aku menyayangi org lain..

hrmm.. u appear too late in my life.
somemore at this time..
n younger than me so..so..far..
it's look like ridiculous dat u r my partner in life..
but like people said,
CINTA ITU BUTA..
dat is what i feel now..

but my heart love him..

as a closing,

i feel so happy once i be with him..
i feel so sad.. da time given is too short,
my parent like someone else..

n i never been given any chance or time,
to said i love someone else..
I LOVE OTHER GUY..

Ya ALLAH,
Jika dia benar jodohku,
dekatkan lah hati nya dgn hatiku,
Jika dia bukan milikku,
Tabahkanlah hati ku dgn ketentuanmu..........

amin ya rabbal a'lamin..........

 

Al-Quran penenang jiwa..

Alhamdulillah syukur kerana aku menjadi insan yg boleh mengaji..
alhamdulillah syukur memperoleh mama n ayah yang menghantar aku clas ngaji n sekolah agama masa kecik2 dlu..
tengok skrg, anak mama n ayah ni.. x luper n x kekok mngaji quran..
syukur alhamdulillah..

xdinafikan, betapa ruginya insan yg x menggunakan ilmu yang allah kurniakan..
Dari dulu lagi.. mmg al-quran yg memainkan peranan ketika hati dan iman ku goyah dgn dunawi
ketika masalah dtg menimpa.. sehingga aku tertekan, hanya quran yg menjadi penghibur..
tenang rasa slps mengaji

aku bukannya baik n pandai pun dalam selok belok al-quran..
mmg rugi rasa tatkala mengaji tapi x tau makna..

aku cuba jugak mengaji tafsir, tapi sayang., tulisannya sgt kecik.. n baris tajwidnya mmg aku x yakin sbb dah di shrink kan.
so.. al-quran lama ni lah yg selalu berada disisi katil..
pendinding hati dan diri...

Semoga diriku sentiasa dilimpahi dgn keimanan n ketaqwaan..
 amin.. lindungilah diriku ya allah dari segala kotor dunia..
amin...

 

it doesn't matter..wht pple want to say

This is me..
i'm who i am..
people can judge me whatever they like..
i can't control them..
they have their rite..
they have their own mind..
so dat.. it doesn't matter whatever i did..
i know someone will observe it..
and automatically will judge it...

hah.. it's life..
don't be hypocrite..
no one can care u as good as ur self..
let u be u..
god give u feel n heart..
u r normal people who can feel love n to be love..
u r da one who can make a decision bout ur life..
who u like, what u want ..
don't bother to thinks bout other people around u..
they have their own life oso..
they oso have a feeling like u sometime..
the time only just differed..

so..
don't blame urself for others..!!
bcoz, u only waste ur time thinking about what people feelin on u..
n bcoz of dat..
u had to control ur self aka hypocrite..
it's not ur self actually..
u r acting as someone else..
at last.. u will feel dat tired cuz u r live on pretending..

let's free ur life n mind..
cuz u only live once..
try whatever u think good n make ur life happy..
do not limit it..
let's give wht u heart want..
don't stop it bcoz of someone else..
ur life is ur life..
the result will showing once we did..
let's see,.. what is da result..
n dat, we'll learn new things..
AM I CORRECT?..

i'm tired of caring other pple heart, but at last i get nothing..
why don't i do wht my heart want..
let it choose wht it want..
who it want..
i want it to be free..
pity my heart cuz alwayz stuck each time when it love someone..
now.. i want to let it be.
let it be..
n let it be..



sincerely : i changed now..
22/12/12
 

why is it happen to me?

should i ask dat??..
am i wrong??
what should i do?
why..why..why?..

i don't understand..
i don't even know how to explain..
am i damn cruel..
hurtin people..
let people hurt bcoz of me..
i don't mean dat..

ya allah.. show me the way..
so dat i can have a real feel on someone..

not even me..
but other side oso feel like wht i feel on him..
Please..
i do tired of this..
i do tired ..
tired..

i'm stuck in da way dat i created..
i'm lost?.. or.. i over walk n explore?

 

Owh hati

Owh Hati,
kenapa susah sangat utk ko lafazkan perasaan tu?
kenapa perlu pendam??

hah..sukarnya............. :(

Tapi mcm x logic pulak kalau aku luahkan..
x berbaloi..
x kemana..
owh tidak..

kenapa perasaan ni berulang??
xsuker..x suker..
siksa rasa menahan luahan......

luperkan lah..
esok mulakan hari yg baru
dia pun x perasan kamu..
knaper nak tunggu buah yg x kan gugur?
hanya menyiksa diri..
menyiksa hati..
menyiksa perasaan

sbb perasaan itu, hanya kamu sendiri yang rasa
sedangkan dia.. dgn dunianya..
x berbaloi lin..

luperkan..
anggaplah seperti awal perkenalan dlu.
xder aper yg tersirat n tersurat..
kamu adalah kamu n dia adalah dia..
xperlu mengikut rentak hati..
gunakan akal fikiran yg waras..
bahawasanya.. ia nya x berbaloi..
bertepuk sebelah tangan x kan berbunyi..
tapi bunyik jugak klu tepuk kat PP ke..dahi ker..peha ker..
arhh.. xperla..
yang penting kamu tersedar awal..
sebelum perasaan menghanyutkan kamu..

terima kasih allah atas kesedaran n ketabahan..
mulakan hari yg baru dengan ceria esok..
anggaplah kamu tidak knal dia n tidak suka dia langsung..
biarlah dia dgn dunuanya, dan kamu dgn duniamu..


 

Jika Aku Jatuh Hati

121212

assalamualaikum,
well.. lama sudah aku x menaip..
kesian diary nie keseorangan :)..org ker??..hrmm

Banyak sebenrnyer story nak tell,
tp x terluah dek kerja yg melampai batas..
akan ku gagahkan jua.. wlupun rasa sometime mcm gve up..
but no way.. i just need my focus..
dat's Lynn :)

Orait.. so around da corner will come new yr soon..
n 2day after it, my new yr oso come.. insyaallah..
n i become 29..
is it old??.. nope..not yet..
i still got lot of things to achieve..
will i get it?.. only Allah knows..

Alahmdulillah,
it's already a month n a day of my brothers wedding..
all done excellent..
alhamdulillah..
n i already have a sister in law..

then, i run my new Job..
as a marketer in RHB bank..
i love my job ..
quit nice meeting people..
n all my clicks are very friendly n nice oso..
alhamdulillah..

and today oso..
is my 1st task..
handling over marketing part to westport..
together with my sales exec..
n there were so cute n nice:)
and.. i feel so wierd,..
normally before this, i'm the youngest..
n alwayz follow da seniors..
but now..
i'm da elders..
n as a leader..
i have to arrange things..
hrmm.. quit good n nice oso..
becoz of my clicks i think..

i love my new job..
hope i can have a good time here..
may allah bless me..
aminn
 

apakah perasaan anda bila orang approach nak masuk meminang ..??

21212 - ahad.. 6.39pm- shah alam

ermm...
hishh..xtau nak ckp cmner..
sepanjang perjalanan balik mmg lutut ketakk..
sebab ayat tu ker..

nope.. he just kidding..
i can't believe he's serious..

but he's serious...
i can't answer when he ask..
should i accept?
i do no him well...
but if i refuse..
am i still have a chance??

if i ask my mom but this..
trust me she said YES..

n if i tell my mom,
that guy want to meet her n my dad..
definitely she welcome..

but how about my heart..??
i should think in deep..

is not dat bcoz u afraid u'll become 29, so u just accept..
nope.. please don't say yes just bcoz of dat..

will he love me..?
will he take care of me??
will he bacome a good husband..
will he become someone who can lead me to allah?..
dat's what i look..

i don't see he got dat line 4..
so..will i teach him??
if yes.. so i will lead him..
he suppose to lead me..
is it wrong if wife lead her husband knowing n close to allah?

confuse..
i will do solat istikharah ..
i wan't to see..
whether he's da correct men or not..
i have to..

ya allah berilah petunjuk..
aku sangat takut.
kalau aku tolak.. takut tu sememang jodoh terakhir..
kalau aku accept..
takut tersalah pilih..
hanya allah shj yg dapat memberi petunjuk..
sabarlah hati..
x payah ikutkan sangat perasaan..
i know u r scared now..
because of the sentence dat he'd mention..
awak sudi ker kalau saya pinang awak??

mmg aku terdiam sejenak..
1st time..
but i can see dia betul2 dah bersedia.
but me???

argghhhhhh....
cemaner nie...
 

aper yg kita akan buat dalam situasi mcm nie??????

huh..mcm stress kan ayat aku ni??..
mmg stress, tapi terkawal..
hari ni hari ahad,
sepatutnyer aku kat klas ptg skrg,
tapi, disebabkan aku leh menaip pd waktu nie..
sekaligus pecah rahsia bahawasanyer..
aku telah ponteng dan berada di atas katil di dalam bilik sambil menaip cerita dlm diary ni.. hah..
kan ker noty tue.. ponteng klas..
tapi aku x senang pun berada dalam situassi mcm nie..

sebenranyer, niat aku lain..
mmg ari ni aku dah ready cam beserla nak p klas..
tapi pepagi tadi, adik sedara aku call,
dia tnyer aku x call wan ke..? nenek aku..
aku ckp la belum..knaper?..
dia kata, wan sorg2 ajer ri ni..
pakcik sedara aku kuar p somewhere 3 ari..
hah...dgr jer, terus aku decide nak p umah wan petang balik klas..
tapi bila fikir balik, klas abis kul 4.30,
setle sume..on da way confirm smpi umah wan dlm pkul 6..
pastu kul 8 dah balik..
sekejap sangat..
kesian pulak wan nnti..

dan disilah kisahnyer bermula,...
aku pg2 tadi decide,
xperlah.. aku ponteng klas kul 2 ni..(skrg ni)..
abis klas kul 12.30 nnti, balik umah.. mkn..sembahyang..
pastu p shopping brg sikit utk wan..
aku tgk dapur wan dah xder aper sgt..
so ingt nak bli la mcm2..
biar penuh balik..

sampai umah, aku pun mkn..
smbil makan.. tergerak hati nak kol wan dlu..
tnyer aper dia buat..
sajer nak warming up.. huhu..
hati n pemikiran org tua,.. sensitif..
so.. nak tgk dlu la mood dia..
hopefully dia ok..

unfortunately..
dia angkat phone dalam nada yg x berapa ok..
mcm x berapa mengalu2kan aku kol..
bukan aku nak dialukan pun..
mmg t/jwb aku pun nak kol dia..
septtnyer aku kol dia tiap2 hari..
tp disebbkan kesibukan masa..aku selalu x berkesempatan..
wlupun tiap2 hari aku selalu teringat nak kol dia..
mmg nampak mcm mudah..
setakat tekan no n letak fon kat telinga..
tapi pernah x org terfikir..
waktu yg sesuai utk kol..??
hrmm pelik kan?.. masih lg sibuk nak fikir waktu?..
yup.. betul.. aku selalu fikirkan waktu..
sbb aper?:
wan dah tua, klu nak kol pagi biasanya dia baring lepas solat rehatkan badan..
xkan aku nak kcu..dah lah malam dia susah nak tido..
so pagi tu, bg lah peluang dia rehat,..
kul 10 keatas,.. aku dah start bz.. nak angkat kol mmg xkan lah..
time rehat baru ader time kol..
tapi tu pun time x menentu,,
hrmm..
aku risau sangat klu anything happen kat dia time dia sibuk2 nak angkat kol..
takut dia jatuh sbb tmpat dia rehat n phone agak jauh sikit..
aku sgt risau..
nak kol pkul 1, takut jugak,.. takut dia rushing dari bilik air sbb ambil wudhuk utk zohor kan..
risau betul..
pas kul 1.. mmg aku bz la.. xdpt nak simply kol..
n pastu, mmg time dia rehat pulak..
lagi x mo kcu..
biasalah org tua klu dah barin, mmg la susah nak bangun..
aku tgk pun x sampai hati.. nak angkat, dia x bg..
dia kata bleh buat sendiri..
tu lah nenek aku.. seorg yg tabah n kuat..
dia xsuker ikutkan perasaan susah dia..
dia x perlukan pertolongan org..
dia boleh buat sendiri..

hah.dah jauh betul penerangan aku ni..
pttla rasa cam lenguh jer lengan ni..
panjang sangat taipan huhuhu..

hah ok..sambung balik time mkn tadi..
kan aku tergerak hati nak kol n tnyer kaba kan..
wan aku angkat la dlm nada yg serius:

wan: halo...(nada mcm bengang)
aku: wan..(lembut jer cam takot2)
wan: sapa ni?..(biasalah suara aku susah nak cam)
aku:ni lin la wan..
wan: hah.. aper hal?..(nada up sikit)
aku:gulpppp..(telan ait liur sat nak sambung).. sepatutnyer aku tnyer wan buat aper tu.. tp sbb wan mcm nak cepat jer ckp, terus aku tnyer.."wan nak kirim aper2 ker?.. nk p bli brg ni...(mcm x sesuai kan permulaan conversation,..xtnyer kaba bagai, tetibe citer pasal brg)...hrmmm
wan:x nak..
aku: ok, xperla... lin datang umah wan erk?..
wan: kenapa?..(uit.. tnyer soklan tu?...)
aku: sajer jer...
wan: hrm..dtglah..
aku: ok wan
wan: tut..tut..tutttt.. as usual klu bengang, terus letak fon..
perasaan aku masa tu.. ??.. kosong...x tau nak xplain..
tapi aku dapat rasa something..
xsampai seminit,

tepon aku ringing..
no umah wan..
kan betul apa yg aku rasa.
aku: halo wan..
wan: xpayah datanglah..
aku:naper??
wan: wan nak kuar sekejap ni
aku:wan nak p maner?
wan: ader nak kuar kejap..xyah datang.
aku: orait..(bkn tu sebenarnyer aku nak ckp)
pastu dia letak fon.

sbb wan aku ni.. selama aku duduk n kenal dia, dia bkn sebarangan org..
dia wanita yg ego..

sbb tu aku x berani tnyer lebih2..klu dia x dapat jawab nnti, lg dia bengang..
aku tau..
imagine kalau aku tnyer, wan nak p maner?..umah saper..bla..bla..bla.. in detail..
do u think she can answer all my questions smoothly?
nope, sbb aku tau dia x pi mana2 pun..
dia just mmg x nak aku dtg tgk dia x sihat..
dia xnak org tgk dia x sihat..
dia rasa nnti org kesian kat dia...
dia xnak org rasa kesian kat dia..
aku faham sangat wan aku ni..
dia mg wanita yg ego..dan berdikari.

skrg aku kat sinilah..
nak p klas mmg x sempat..
ikutkan hati mmg nak p jer umah dia..
tapi klu dia x bukak pintu how?..
perkara mcm tu dah brp kali jadi dah..
so aku serba salah skrg..
aku nak p ker x..
klas confirm mmg dah x dapat masuk..
lambat dah..

biasanya klu aku g tau makcik2 n mak aku.. confirm soh p jer..
sbb wan aku msti ader kat umah..
dia x kuar mana pun..
tapi kali ni aku decide x nak g tau sesaper..
biarla aku buat keputusan sendiri..
aku x p umah wan..
sbb aku rasa mungkin wan perlukan privacy time ni..
msti ader sensitive things happen within her mind n heart..
so i decided no to see her..
next time i will go..
once she's ok..
sbb klu aku p pun.. surely aku x dapat masuk..
drpd buat dia marah, baik biar dia cool..
dr buat aku nangis x dapat masuk..
baik aku tabahkan hati aku kat umah..
sedih tau kalau x dapat masuk umah dia kalau dah sampai..
sepanjang drive balik nnti aku leh nanges.
sensitive kan?.. tu lah lin..

i truely love my grandma..
but lately, we were not so closed n understand each other anymore..
i feel so far from her..
and i keep trying to fix back our relationship..
but she's seem like didn't trust me anymore..
i feel like i'm not her favourite n lovely grandaughter anymore..
no one know my feeling..
i'm really hearthbroken bcoz of this..
i love wan so much..
she still never believe dat i love her!!!
i do no..what should i do..
everything i'd try were worst..
what i can see.. we are becoming so far from each other..
n i'm so frustrated dat she couldn't trust me once..
she always said wht dat i'm telling her are lie..
she always think bad of me..
why?..
i do no what i had done until she judge me like this..
i keep on search n search on how to retake back her heart..
i miss those moment when i'm kids...
she love me so much..
she hug n kiss me everytime..
but now..
i always cry when i reach home after visit her..
bcoz, she didn't let me to hug or kiss her..
she said i'm not sincere
how to show my sincere??..

dat's all..
pity me right??

but i never forget to pray for her life since i'm a small kids until now after prayers
my doa is always same.
may allah give her a good health, do not let her sad, let her always feeling cheers.. bcoz i'm fine when she's feeling good.
all da best for her..

and i do hope our relationship nenek n cucu, can be as good as i'm kids cuz i do really miss dat moment so much..
i really want to feel it back..
how long i've been waiting for this moment to come..
until know, what i feel is far..
i'm feel far from her..

and i hope before anything happen to me or to wan,
we can be together n happy again,,
if not, surely i will feel guilty n bad along my life............................................................




 

huh..what a sad story...

10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried

Lot's of Things Happened

well,.. at last sumer setle..
yesterday was my brother's (mohd Suffian) wedding ceremony..
alhamdulillah
sumer pun berjalan dgn lancar..
walaupun ader hujan sikit..

hrmm..
banyak betul perkara yang berlaku dalam 2 minggu lepas,
chapter by chapter:
1- aku p RHB training kat bangi
2- abang pyan nikah kat masjid puchong
3-abang pyan bersanding kat umah semalam..

orait let start with training in Bangi..
huh.. really tired..
at da first time feel like i want to cry along my journey back from the training.
mana x nyer,.. pergi kul 6am.. balik kul 7lbih, sampai umah kul 9pm..
jalan pulak jem tahap gaban..
sebab aper sedih?..
sebab x dapat tengok matahari jer huhuu
bengong erk??..
tapi tulah aper yg aku rasa..
penat!!
1st time dalam hidup aku, aku rasa penat drive..
bayangkan, ulang alik awal pagi n petang ke Bangi..
samapi umah malam..
huuu.. gilerlah xdapat nak luangkan time ngn Family..
betul2 mencabar minda heeee
Tapi aku positif la.. seb baik 2 minggu jer..

erm.. pengalaman jugak tu,
aku dah rasa mcm maner merananyer org yg keje jauh..
xtau la diorg tp aku.. mmg xkan..
kalau ditransferkan..
n jauh.. surely will look for a new job no matter what :)
aku x munkin akan sewa rumah..
mana boleh jauh dgn mama n ayah ..
risau jugak perasaan macam ni..
klu aku kwen n dapat suami jauh mcm maner??..
boleh ker???.... takotnyer..
harap dpat dekat2 la.. leh ulang alik ^_^
hik3x.. ader ker??

ha.. nak di jadikan cerita.. mcm2 hal jugak yg terjadi time training,..
nyaris2 aku x dapat tgk hari bersejarah abang aku lafazkan akad nikah kat masjid sbb x boleh cuti..
tapi aku btul2 bersyukur,..
allah tahu perasaan masa tu..
masa aku redha walaupun sedeh, x dapat nak cuti utk temankan abg aku nikah.
bila menjelang hari pernikahan,
lagi lah sedih.. org sumer sibuk2 siapkan baju
aku pulak sibuk siapkan diri utk p Training..
bertambah sedih, bila aku g tau abg aku x dapat dtg majlis dia, dia rasa sedih sgt..
aku aper lagi.. lepas ckp terus la blah.. takut berjujuraiii air mata depan dia nnti huhuhuhu..

masa dlm klas, mmg x tumpu perhatian pun..
sibuk memikirkan perasaan abg..
dia msti kecewa, satu2 nyer adik perempuan dia.. n org paling rapat dgn dia x dapat dtg..
n dalam masa yg sama, aku cuba meredhakan diri n berdoa agar majlis ab aku berjalan lancar..
Tapi Allah itu lagi maha mengetahui,..
dia tau aper yg aku rasa..
sungguh x sangka hari jumaat 2/11/12, my class finished early around 4.20pm..
walaupun aku tahu aku x dapat jadi saksi pernikahan tu, tp aku gagahkan diri jugak drive sepantas yg mungkin utk tgk saki baki majlis tue..
dalam masa yg sama jugak, ader sorg classmate ni nak tumpang p puchong..
dgn adernyer dia, perjalanan jadi lancar sbb x sesat hehe..
alhamdulillah,

sampai depan masjid, aku cuber contact ayah..
once ayah pickup, ayah tnyer aku kat maner?..
aku ckp aku kat depan masjid.
ayah terkejut.. ayah suh aku masuk n park cepat,..
ruper2 nyer majlis baru nak start wlupun time tu dah pkul 5pm..
hoh.. aper lagi.. kegembiraan terlampau lah aku..
rasa mcm nak lompat dlm kete tu jugak..
bersyukur yg teramat..
hanya allah yg tahu perasaan aku masa tu..
gembira x terkata tatkala melihat abg aku duduk bersila mengadam tok kadi sambil mendengar penjelasan n ceramah..
tetiber aku rasa dia mcm dpt rasa aku dtg.
Dia toleh belakang n see me hehe..
nampak dia senyum sgt happy..
aku pun rasa sangat puas ati n gembira yg teramat..
syukur ya allah..

sempat jugaklah aku record pic n video time nikah tu.
x sangka abg aku yg biasanya serius n garang leh almost menitiskan air mata masa tok kadi memberi nasihat n dorrongan utk menjadi seorg suami yg baik.
tersentuh hati aku tgk huhuh..

but alhamdulillah,
sumer berjalan lancar..
amin..

ok la have to sleep
tmoro start new job at new place..
hope everything will gonna be ok:)
amin...

 

Hope everything will be fine n smooth..

Well..esok i mean consider hari ni 02/11/2012 la yer sbb dah kul 12.13am.. abg aku akad nikah..
alhamdulillah jodoh dah sampai..
i'm so happy with him..
but i feel offended..
cuz.. i didn't get leave to see the big ceremony on da day cuz i'm on training..
what a bad feeling n unlucky day..

i'm not pity @ my self..
but i'm sure my brother will be dissapointed with that..
cuz, just now when i told him dat i couldn't come tgether..
he said why?..his not angry..
but while i'm talking with him..his actually on call..
eventhough his smile.. i can feel he so sad..but don't want to show it..
if i put myself in his shoes..i oso will feel down ..
y??.. bcoz, we don't have big family.. where got many of sibblings dat can accompany or substitute each other when someone canot make it to come..
cuz i'm the only sister dat he has.. we are very closed since kids..
n we sharing our problem tgether..
but y on this big day.. i'm not in..???
n the harsh think is..
i feel i want to quit if i can't get this leave..
from da last monday i kept on thinking bout this..
thinking bout how i want to apply for leave in dis situation whre i just start my new work..??
how??..is it possible to get leave??

i tried to call n ask my boss..
eventhough his seem's like cool,
but he can't release me for that, cuz of the management..
he felt sorry for me n said, if he can, he will try to release me..
but he oso been tied up with the mngment rule..
he can do nothing..
i oso shouldn't ask for dat actually..
cuz i know, upon training.. we not allowed to leave or miss unless if there are some emergncy things happen...

than, yesterday, i told my parent..i might not come on abg pyan nikah day's bcoz of this training..
my parent gave a positive reply..
they said.. i shouldn't worry n keep said to me dat i no need to worry..just focus to my work.. they can handle it..
what to do.. i'm not self employed..work under pple.. have to follow da rule..
i feel so glad n praise to allah cuz having an understanding parent..
some more they support me to focus on my training..
alhamdulillah..
once they said dat,, it's just like a big stone in my head had falling down n my head feel so light..

n now.. how i want to meet my brother n said i'm sorry for this..
sorry for couldn't come for his nikah day..
tomorrow, early in da morning i will go bangi..
i should see n talk to him tonite..
but i'm scared if i will cry hrrmmmm.

nvermine, i will knock his room this morning...
salam..n wish him all da best..
n if can finish early.. i will rush to come..
cuz his time is after asar..
n i heard my class tomorrow might finish early at 4pm.
so for sure i will come eventhough i can't see the akad nikah time's..

huh.. suddenly feel, my family gonna be change..
normally with 5 mmbers, now additional 1 mmber..
huh.. my brother will become a husband..
abg yg menjadi sahabat paling rapat ..
abg yg paling aku sayang..
kdg2 gaduh..
bergurau mcm budak kcik eventhough dah besar mcm ni..
abg yg banyak bantu n nasihat aku,..
yg penting, dia adalah abg yg paling penyayang, yang paling tegas menjaga akhlak aku supaya menjadi seorg perempuan yg dihormati.
Yg paling banyak
paling byk bertolak ansur dgn perangai aku ..
mcm2.. he is da best abg that i ever had in dis world..!!!!
thank you allah for ur gift..
alhamdulillah..

semoga sumernyer berjalan dgn baik dan diredhai allah..
hanya doa yg x putus2 utk kedua mempelai yg dapat aku bagi untuk abg aku n bakal kakak ipar.
hanya allah shj yg tahu betapa x tenteramnya hati aku saat ini..
serba salah n sedih sbb x dapat nak join..
x dapat nak angkat barang hantaran sesama..
x dapat nak pakai n hiaskan baju n tudung mama..
mama kne adjust n pakai kerongsang sendiri mcm aku ajar tadi..
sedihnya x dapat nak tolong....

dah lah..
nnti ternangis pulak aku kat cnie..
cukup lyn..
hope tomorrow all be fine n good..
semoga segalanya diredhai, dipermudahkan dan dipelihara allah s.w.t..
amin...





 

29/10/12 hari terakhir di ambank

xsangka.. sampai jugak aku ke tarikh ni..
habis dah aku berkhidmat dgn ambank..
esok start p RHB pulak..
betul ker ni??..
ihik..mcm x cayer pulak..

apersal la x leh tido plak ni??..
esok nak bangun awal p bangi..
hopefully x ngntuk la time training nnti..

wahhh..
lyn.. x sangka boleh berhenti..
mmg ni la yg aku plan lama dlu..
tp cuma belum cukup pertimbangan..
skrg ni..
aper yg aku capai..
sesuatu yg aku betul2 nekad nak buat..
find a new job..
within bank..
alhamdulillah..
aku dapat..
syukur..

hope start tempat keje baru ni..
aku dapat mulakan balik semangat baru..
n my new target..
to create sells as much as i can..
n learn a lot.. as much as i can oso..

i give 1 to 2 yrs only for this position..
i will makesure..
future, before i achieve 35,
i can get what i want in life..
i have to plan..
if not me who else isn't it..

so this is where i start da 2nd step..

tomorrow u will start Lyn..
trust ur self..
u can do it..
chaiyokkk!!!!!

huh.. better sleep..
nite:)

agak2 esok,  aku sesat x nak p bangi..
mintak dijauhkan kesesatan tu..
remember the way lyn..
huhuhuh...
 

Selamat hari raya aidiladha untuk yg ke 28 thn ^_^

alhamdulillah..
sayunyer dengar laungan takbir..
menusuk kalbu :)
dah 28 tahaun aku sempat menyambut aidiladha dgn family..
sajer jer mlm raya ni..
tetiber rindu dkt diary:)

kul 9 jap g..
nak drive p umah wan kat KL..
tahun ni..
aku x raya kt kg la..
mama n ayah jer alik melaka..
aku teman wan kat KL

mama n ayah esok br singgah..
wan mesti x saba nak tunggu aku sampai..
will arrive soon..
insyaallah..

semoga allah selamatkan perjalanan ku..

ntah2 jem malam ni..
sumer org balik kg..
nak ujan pulak tu...
huhuh..

orait..
 

well..hujan rintik2 pulak..
hrmm..tadi ader class.. tp morning ajer..
smpi pkul 10.30am..
after dat..meeting my fren mr.rizal..
at jaya jusco bukit raja..

when meetin someone especially guy is my problem when we meet only two of us..
huh..
but i think, i can commit it now..
i feel like usual as meeting a gurl friend..
no heart feeling..
quite a  good improvemnet..
we talk a lot..
asking bout this and dat..

i can arrange my words n conversation nicely..
it was great..
i didn't shy..
just talk..
and look into people eyes..

good job..
pity me now only can handle myself..
hoho..
whatever la..
it's good actually,
rather than i creat a lot of excuses to avoid meeting..
hehehe..

i ate KFC..cuz i'm so hungry..
n we watched a movie..
"a house at the end of the road"
mcm tu kot tajuk dia..

i chose to watch..cuz i think, dat's the only way dat can save both of us from..
merayau2 kat shoping complex tu tanpa arah tujuan..

sbb aku rasa, bejalan2 berdua2 an.. sambil memerhati sesuatu perkara yg paling sukar n rimas untuk dibuat..
org lain aku x tau la..
klau ramai2 no hal..
leh share2 story..
but if two only..
\really no idea at all to talk..

and as usual, lepas tgk wayang..
mmg xder idea nak buat aper..
so at the end..
we go back with da short memories of today's meet..

dat's all..
and when i reach home..
really peacefull..
specially in my room..
i can hear the sound of drops rain on top of roof..
i can see it thru my window..

really peacefull..:)

 

xder air..

Morning...
sincerely .. last nite i din't bath..
Y??..
no water at all..

it's still ok..
no body know except my family..
it got water..
but little like..gosok gigi pun x lepas..
ni kan pulak.. nak bermandi manda..
huh..

then..
terus menidokan diri sbb dah tgh malam dgn harapan dan angan2..
bahawasanya..esok pagi nak bangun awal dan mandi lama-lama..
sejam ke..2jam..3jam..
lebih pulak..
tapi x kisah la..
yg penting nak mandi bersih2..

xsangka jadi kenyataan..
bangun awal..
kul 4 dah terbangun..
walaweiii... terlebih awal la pulak..
aper nak buat..
biasanyer kalau x leh tido aku bangun, ambik air sembahyang n mengaji..
but,..now cannot..
my moon is coming already..
it's shining clearly rite now..hhuhu..

well..
dalam masa 45mnts..
guling2 jugaklah atas katil tu..
tetiber rasa penat..
huh..give up la!!..
mata pun x nak pejam..

hrmm..
amik towel..
open up my bathroom door..
slowly, turning da shower on..
aiyooo!!!..
i can't believe dat..
STILL GOT NO WATER..
what da.....

luckily my stomach didn't macam2..
kalau x.. boleh nanges aku kat situ..
tetiber nak marah syabas..
time2 tu jugak nak call diorg..
grrgrrrr.. betul2 rasa marah n bengang..
tapi diorg keje ke..??

hrmm...per lagi.. turun bawah la tgk mama tgh buat aper.. sambil2 nak luah perasaan x puas ati kat syabas..
hah..
konon la..xpuas ati.. aper2 pun, yg penting mandi dlu..
berdua2 an la aku n mama tadah air, n masuk dalam besen besar..
fuhhh.. nak mandi pnyer pasal..

dalam paler otak..mcm x nak p kje sbb..xkan x mandi..
lain la kalau aku ni ca ya nun alif hohoho..
msti x mandi.. yerrkkk

tapi mcm x professional pulak..
sbb xder air sgt x p kje..
tpi,, klu real xder air langsung.. mmg x p..
aper nak jadi..jadilah..
mandi kat ofis??... no way..

hah...
agak2 sampai biler ni??..
cepat lor..
it's very difficult since i'm in dis condition..
really disgusted me..
faster leyyy..
kemon water..kemon come again to my house......
aiyoo..

alrite..
prepare to work lorr..
it's 7am already..
perut oso nyanyi2 already..
need smthing for brkfast..
today mama didn't meniaga..
heheh..
surely mama will do brkfast for me..
yeayy..
sedap2..:)
can eat together2...

Monday - Resignation Letter

Good Morning..
Today feel good..
ayah just called..
he at kg rite now..
alhamdulillah..his journey from singapore with my mom n wan were save..
ayah said today he will b buzy a bit to sort out wedding card for my brother in kampung area..

it's ok.. this morning my brother will send me work..
my father will fetch me when i'm back..:)

THE THING IS..
today i will give my RESIGNATION letter to my boss.
hope everything gonna be alrite..
may allah bless me..
amin..

may my parent journey oso to come back here will safe .
amin..

alrite.. prepare my self work..
cheer monday hopefully:)

 

Semoga Perjalanan Mama n Ayah Selamat..

Ayah n mama baru ajer bertolak menuju ke Melaka..
biasalah..kalau dah mcm ni..
perasaan aku..
confirm x tentu arah..
risau dari semalam smpi skrg..
mmbygkan duduk rumah tanpa mereka..
sunguh bosan dan sedeh..
kalau lah boleh ikut..

Kalau xkerana asgnmnt n test..dah lama aku folo..
kesian ayah drive sorg2..msti penat..
perjalanan jauh pulak tu..

hai.. masa ni pulak nak kne tinggal sorg2?..
sedeh betul..
Esok pepagi ayah n mama akan p Singapore..
ader sepupu kwen kat saner..
aku pun x knal mana satu..
lama giler x jmper..
yg sebaya aku tu ker ntah..
hrm.. hope mama dapat ambik Pic pengantin guner Ipad yg kitorg hadiah kan tu..

arghh..yg penting bukan tu..
Perjalanan tu penting..
semoga allah pelihara keselamatan ayah dan mama aku..
Sebak jugak masa anta kat kete tadi..
huhu..tahan jer.. :(

mama n ayah pun nampak risau sgt tinggalkan aku sesorg..
banayk kali pesan..
mama pun mcm nak nanges jer..
sore pun dah berubah..
begetar semacam..
mama n ayah mmg sayang aku teramat..
love both of u most..

esok masa nak p Singapore..aku xder la risau sangat sbb ayah konvoi dgn pakcik2 belah melaka..
xder la rasa ngntuk kot sorg2..insyaallah..

xper..aku tahu allah maha mendengar..
doaku sepanjang masa..
semoga mama n ayah sentiasa dijaga..
dan dihindarkan daripada perkara yg x elok..
ya allah selamatkan mereka.. walau dimana shj mereka berada..
amin...

esok kelas..
kene bangun sorg2..
bekfes sorg2..
mkn mlm sorg2..
ari senin..kne p keje sendiri..
bwk kete sendiri..
bekfes sendiri lagi..

sedehnyer...

Sekuat mana kita setia.
Sehebat mana kita merancang.
Selama mana kita menunggu.
Sekeras mana kita bersabar.
Sejujur mana kita menerima dirinya.

Jika takdir ALLAH menentukan yg kita akan bukan dgn dirinya,
Kita tidak akan bersama dgnnya.
Jika Allah telah menulis jodoh kita dgnnya,
Kita tetap akan bersama dirinya.

Kerana tulang rusuk dan pemiliknya takkan pernah tertukar dan akan bertemu pada saat yg tepat menurut ilmuNya, insyaALLAH.
Tiada yg kebetulan melainkan semuanya telah dirancang.
Dan yg sebaik-baik merancang itu adalah ALLAH S.W.T ♥

interview

alhamdulillah..
x sangka selama 4 tahun aku kerja..
today is the 1st step of mine applying n being interviewed for the new job n position..
aku tekad la..
mmg nak p tempat lain..
boring dah dok saner..
4 yrs..

pg tadi aku org pertama yg di interview..
lama jugaklah dalam bilik tu..
borak mcm dah lama kenal plak..
almaklumlah..banker n banker..
mcm2 story kuar..
seb baik aku feel comfort jer..
interviewer pun mcm baya2 aku jer.. ntah2 adik..

alhamdulillah.. setle dah..
dalam masa seminggu kne tgu result la..
kalau success alhamdulillah..
kalau x.. cuber lagi lin..

chaiyokk...

ari ni pun aku MC..
dpt fever plak.. mcm tau2 jer nak kne interview heheh


 

SyuKrann ya Rabbi..

Alhamdulillah..
akhirnya..
pagi subuh yang sejuk nie..
berjaya jugak aku menghabiskan al-quran..

Ya allah.. semoga kau permudahkan segala urusan ku..
dan rahmatilah aku..serta keluar ku..
juga2 orang disekelilingku..
amin..

a call

tadi aku dapat call dr someone..yg aku actually ader hati dkt dia..
hati aku tertarik dgn kbaikan dan kesopanan dan yg penting agamanya..
mmg aku salute..
he's the only men that can make me admire so much..
he is religious..
that what make me feel respect on him..

alhamdulillah..
he telling me the truth..so that i no more put in any hope agains him anymore..
from today's..
i no more imagine him in my prayers..
he already became somebody fiancee..

allah is true..
orang yg baik msti untuk org yg baik..
and he found someone..
n i know.. the girl must be very kind n religious like him..
i can't compare with her..

quite hurt..
but i have to accept..
again..
i'm hurt again..
n my tears
running a bit on my cheeks
bcoz i do like him..
but i'm afraid to tell dat..
again..
bcoz of my unconfident, it just gone..

my opportunity is actually have..
he told me dat he oso has a feeling on me..
n i know from da start we had met..
the way he brought himself infront of me..
i know he oso have a feelin in me..

he did asked..
am i happy he will get married???..
what should i say?..tell him da truth???
nope..i'm dissappointed!..
should i say dat?,,
it can't..
i can't make pple that i love feeling serba salah..

if i'm bad..i will surely will say dat..
say dat actually i love him..from da start..but afraid to tell..
should i?..
kalau ikutkan perasaan..mmg la akan..
tapi pemikiran tu penting..
think before u do..
wht if my word could ruin his r/ship with his fiancee???
i will having sin along my life..
the main think..bfore i decide something..
it's good,. but sometime it worst.. like now..
bcoz i'm think too much..
n too long..
i'd let go something important..

no wonder he said dat he want to tellin me bout smthing..
it is about this..

i rmember his words just now..
he said: "sy nak tnyer smthing.. Lin gembira ke sy nak kwen?..
n da stupid word dat i said was.. "yer.. sy gembira...jodoh awak dah smpi"..
n my heart said.. i can't belive dat i pull out the sentence..!!
n he said:'but sy sedih"..
i didn't ask y eventhough i want..
but what for..too late..

eventhough he said dat he love me..
i don't think it is a realy love..
it might kind of small feeling such as "like"..
not in heart feelin..
i believe dat..

so i just told him..
nvermind la.. kalau jodoh dah tertulis.. itulah jodoh kita..x kiralah..kita suker saperpun..
allah dah tetapkan..
itulah kehidupan...
jodoh itu ditangan tuhan..

than he said..
"yerlah lin..
sy doakan lin jmper org yang baik dan solleh..utk dijadikan suami..
alhamdulillah..
terima cikgu Fairuz:)

Semoga cikgu jugak berbahagia ke akhir hayat..

so until here only la we chat..
i don't think we can msg or calling each other again..
other pple heart have to takecare..
let me fixing my own heart..
may i can find someone like u again.. x tinggal solat, pekerti mulia, sopan santun,  anak yang solih dan bertanggunggjawab..
amin..:)


 

alhamdulillah

Sesunguhnya..xder apa yang dapat menyembuhkan jiwa yg ksong..
selain berdoa dan berzikir kepada allah..
alhamdulillah aku masih sedar..
masih kukuh iman sebagai seorg khalifah allah..

rasa boring dan kosong yang aku rasa hari ini..
terubat..
sekejap jer..
dgn mengaji lepas menunaikan solat asar tadi..

hrmm..bila tgk balik al-quran..
lama sungguh x mengaji..
almost 3 weeks..
aperlah nak jadi..
lalai or buzy?..

klau nak diikutkan..
bulan Ramadhan lepas aku boleh khatamkan quran ni..
tapi x tau kenapa..
mungkin terlalu ikutkan hati yang malas..
smpi skrg pun belum settle lagi..

hari ni..br smpi surah al muzammil..
mmg almost nak habis dah..
tinggal surah2 pendek jer..
dah dijadikan seorg wanita..
lumrahla.. kalau terpaksa miss kan certain2 hari..
apatah lagi kalau termasuk hari malas..
hah..

masa tgh mengaji tadi..
tetiber..cahaya matahari petang menyinari page yang aku baca..
tetiber rasa mcm sengaja disuluh pulak oleh matahari ni..heheh
tenangnyer hati..

ya allah.. semoga aku dijadikan seorg wanita yang solehah..
yg beriman kuat kepadamu..
ubahkanlah aku menjadi wanita yang dirahmati dalam kehidupan..
cekalkan dan kuatkan imanku untuk menjadi muslimah yang baik..

aku sedang cuba berubah..
semoga beroleh bimbingan dari mu ya allah..
aminn..

 

i would like to tell about someone..

alhamdulillah..
dalam ramai2 kawan.. ader seorg insan ni..
aku rasa sangat la menyentuh hati aku..
agak2..dia tau x aku citer pasal dia..

lama dah aku nak tulis pasal this Polite Guy..
he is very nice to me..
dari ramai2 kawan lelaki..
his the best i ever had..
walaupun x pernah jumper..

kenapa??..
hrmm.. sbb..wlaupun aku ada secara x sengaja menyakitkan hati dia..
dia tetap juga baik dgn aku..
aku suker berkawan dgn dia..
tp dia x nak kawan dgn aku..
pelik..

tapi setiap kali aku online..
satu jer yg aku nak tgk actually..
msg FB..
wlupun byk msg yg masuk..
tapi aku ttp nak carik msg dia..
kalau xder..
aku akan repeat dgr lagu2 yg dia send kat msg aku..
the most thing is..
all those songs..i do love so much..
until i kept them in my thumpdrive n listen along my journey while driving
he knows my types..
betul2 buat hati aku tersentuh..

his a nice guy..
n i pray the best for him..
i will alwayz look for ur msg MR.AZAR..
until u will give up to send me any..

thanks a lot cuz always make me feel happy n smile alone :)

ShoPPing..

assalamualaikum..
well...
yesterday was a bit ok..
i went out to Setia City Mall.. in meru..
ingt nak tgk wayang jer..
tapi citer x best plak..
merepek2 jer citer skrg.. boring..

so. me n my fren Reva.. just looking fo what we aimed..
i'm going to buy heel for office..
but.................
mmg dapat kasut office.. tp dapat kasut lain jugak aiyooo..
terbang la..money den.. hrrmmm..
selesaii..

then..round punyer round..
p tempat handbag..
nampak satu beg yang to me..cantik jugak...
but the kaler dia suite dgn my mum..
teringat pulak handbag mama yg aku belikan dulu..
rasanya dah 2 tahun kot dia pki handbag tu..
so.. aku belila yg baru ni utk dia..
mmg cantik.. just nice for her..
n like i guess.. she really happy looked at da handbag i bought..
alhamdulillah..

sbb..bila aku fikir balik..
aku jarang sangat shopping..
bila dapat gaji.. just beli brg simple2 for myself..
mmg aku teringin nak beli something for my mum everytime i got my salary..
tapi jarang keluar..jarang shopping kat mall..
how i want to buy??..
so semalam..dapat jugak belikan utk mama..
feel so good..

so after shopping..
i went to fish manhattan's for lunch eventhough waktu tu dah ptg..
sbb belum mkn tgh hari kan..
my fren plak x mkn ayam..so.. p mkn kat sini ajer la..
actually.. the foods. not so nice.. nama ajer gah..
2 time i come.. 2-2 kali x der yg special..
nothing..
to the price n the foods not balance..
well.. meybe bcoz it's a high class place..
so simply can cook like that..
enough for that..

so dalam masa yg sama..
aku invite jugak sorg kawan yg aku kenal..
before ni just msging jer gner fon..
alang2 dia dah turun klang.. so meet skali la..
he is mR.Rizal..
dia ni seorg army officer kat kem sg besi..
org kedah..
so sbb smlm dia pun rasa boring mcm aku..
aku invite la dia join makan sesamer..
tapi dia x mkn pulak.. sbb baru pas mkn kat umah..
hah.. tengok ajer kitorg mkn..
but i buy him drinks la..
atlease something..
so we chat lorr..
not so much to talk about..
we do no each other very close..
so our conversation not so open..
beradab sikit lor..

i really love dialect org kedah..
to me.. it seem like org kedah ni really straight..
when they talk.. they won't pretend..
like him..when he talk.. he just talk..
no need to cover..or trying to arrange sentence or something..
he can captured n joining up about what we were talking about..
really relax..
so it really fluence.. n nice hear the dialect...

after eat n chat quit sometime..
so end there lor..
my fren Rizal.. going back to his home..
me n my fren oso balim rumah..
so i have to send her to her home..

BUT...WHILE WE WERE VERY HAPPY..
I GOT A SUPRISE GIFT..

SAMAN...WTH...
huh... well.. bayar jer la..
police ni mmg carik pasal..
it's ok if he want to saman..
but the way dia saman mmg x proper..
arh.. lantak lah.. malas nak citer panjang..
bukan nyer dapat aper pun/..
so.. next week monday.. kne meet someone yg kje polis lor..
nak p byr saman...

xperla.. dah nak kne kan..:)
 

Sireh.....

Morning...
Well... Alhamdulillah semalam jamuan mkn2 den kwn2 ofis n best frenz berjalan dgn lancar.
Mane x nyer last minit plan..
 Bukan aper.. Smlm masa tgh attend class tuisyen.. Tefikir plak pastu nnti nak buat aper?
so.. Alang2 dok boring..bek ajak frenz2 dtg umah..bila lagi..raya pun nak penghujung...
X rmi pun jemput..yg paling close n yg mmg plan nak dtg umah dr dulu...
So. Aku msg la sume...
Dlm 100% Aku msg tu..almost 70% coming.. Alhamdulillah..
Thanks to my mum..preparing all those foods.. Meehun sup n mee goreng..
Very delicious..
I thought want to serve something special during dat day..to x smpt nak buat... Sbb smpt umah dah kul 5.30pm..

Tgh hari Pas tuisyen tu ayah n mama ajak p umah org kwen.. Umah kakak Angkat Aku masa kicik2 dulu..
Ale2..nak dkt smpi tetiber rasa pelik...
Baru
kul 2.59pm.
Tp, khemah sumer Dah kemas.. Kusi dah Susun tinggi2..time tu la br mama ingt..
Eh ari Ni 8hb.. Esok br wedding tu...
Aiyooo...bikin stress.

Hah..alang2 dah smpi shah alam tu..p la pusing umah makusu Aku...beraya..
Pastu singgah plak Padang jawa umah sdara ayah n mama..
Ale2... Dah smpi kul 4.40pm...
Hah...satu aper pun xprepare utk member2Aku dtg...
Singgah kedai beli mcm2..dah smpi kul 5.30pm..
Seb baik xdgr sorg pun dtg lg...heheheh

Sampan umah..siap2 buat air sume.. Baru la kak Shida n family...
Diikuti dgn budak2 runner bank n da geng
After dat..Maghrib...pastu br la tetamu lain dtg..termasuk my beloved fren n her husband..
Alhamdulillah..Sumer pun step by step..
Mknn pun cukup...

Hmm..bags jugak planning Mcm Ni..
Sekejap n senang...
Kul 11pm tepat..settle sume tetamu...kak zai n family..:)

Hah..alhamdulillah.....
Well..pg Ni...kemas umah..
Cuci Bju n balik kg...
Wan x brp sihat..
Nak p Melaka jenguk sat....

Eh..luper plak..lari tajuk upernyer..
Pasal Sireh kan....????
Haha.. Next time la..
Nak settle kje sat..
Adiosss....

assalamualaikum..

hrm..hari ni jumaat..
31 august 2012..
it's a Merdeka day of 55th..
alhamdulillah.. negara masih aman..
taku kalau aku bayangkan tiba2 berlaku peperangan..
semoga dijauhi.. amin..

well...
dah hari keberapa syawal ni??..
hrmm..lama sungguh x tulis kat dlm diary ni..
nak tulis..tapi..
tulah.. on laptop..
on blog..
bila nak type jer..
no idea..
macam skrg la..
kosong..aka BLANC..
am i spelling rite..
arghh.. lantakla..
no one see pun..:)

orait..skrg hari yg ker 13syawal..
sekijap nyer nak half month dah..
mana nak p??...
mama n ayah bz bisness..
aku pun bz gak dgn tuisyen clas pg td..
gnti sbb last raya dah several day cuti..
esok pun ader class lg..

semalam.. bersamaan 12 syawal.. sempat jugak la aku beraya dkt umah KAk Niena..
balik kje.. dia buat mkn2..
so penuh jugaklah..perut yg kosong disbbkan berpuasa pada hari itu..
waahh.. knyg tahap gaban..
mana x nyer..
aku smpai2 jer.. sume kecoh2...
bg lin dulu..bagi lin dlu..
dia puasa..
sibuk jugak lah mmber aku menuangkan air..
hehe.. mcm puteri la pulak layanan..heheh..

hari ni..
ptg jap g..ader mkn2 kat umah pakcik said..
ex-pakguard..yg jaga berkhidmat kat bank ritu..
ingt lagi dia kat aku..
tiap2 tahun dtg bank jemput aku p umah dia...
aku la jadi or tgh tlong inform staff2 lain...
smpi budak2 ckp..pakcik said tu sayang kat ko sbb dia nak jadikan ko menantu...
hahaha... lawak ayam btol.. jeles la tu:P

haii..mcm2..
kenangan2..kenangan..
nnti bila aku tua..kalau baca balik diary n kenangkan masa yg lepas..
msti syahdu erk...huhuhu..
whatever la..

hrmm..balik dr tuisyen tadi..
jusr setle kan keje umah sikit..
cantik-cantikkan hall...
bilik...
oh..sidai baju..sementara panas di tgh hari..
now. setle all...
suddenly feeling boring..
kalau ader bf kan best..:P
leh p round2..
tu pun kalau ayah bg hahah..
copek lin..
cr bf..before mama carikkan.. adoiyaiiiii...

ahh..seronoknyer duduk kat bilik baru ni..
angin sepoi2 jer tepi tingkap..
mcm berada kat tepi sawah plak...
tgk pokok mangga melambai2 dari tepi tingkap..
and kain baju yg aku sidai.. berbuai di hembus angin..
tenang rasa hati...
bunyi burung comel2 kat luar tingkap..
mcm tgh berborak plak..
planning nak buat open house kot...hrmm..

ok la.. until here only..
mama n ayah came back already...
better go n see them down there..
maybe got somthing to chat:P..

daaa,,.....

alamak.. br nak borak..
ayah call nak kuar plak p market ngan mamaa..
terbantut plak nak p bawah..
perut lapa ni..
tadi x mkn tgh hari upernyer..
ok la.. nak p mkn sat..

daaa......again ^_^

 

SahuR TerakHir RamadHan 2012

ALHAMDULILLAH...
Sempat jugak meraikan sahur terakhir ramadhan 2012 ni..
Semalam aku mention dat was a last day i write on this wall for bulan ramadhan..
But something haappen when i reach my wan's home..
Nevermind..don't want to talk about dis..
The last day or da day bfore raya...i should be happy..
eventhough i have to force to be to..

By da way..dis yr i'm quit dissappointed a bit..
coz..waht i planned didn't reach..
i Thought can finish recite Al-Quran during dis month..
buT..bcoz i'm a women.. i had to stopped bcoz i can't recite it during dis period..
hrmm.. just a little bit of pages only to khatam..
it's ok la.. dis shawal sure will finish one.. insyaallah..

well..when i on my FB..
i saw lot's of status saying dat "on da way to Balik kg"..
meriahnya..
actually seronok perjalanan pulang ke kampung during sambutan hari raya waktu malam wlupun jalan jem...
wlupun sesak..
tapi kita tahu stiap org mostly mempunyai tujuan yg sama..
Balik Kampung ^_^
seronok kan..

hrm.. alrite..
until here only la..
my brother want to use the charger..
so dat.. today i have to continue over my cleaning session..
my laundry................

wahhh... too many..aiyoyoyo...
:)

Lagi satu hari nak rayerrr..

yup.. ari nie cuti..
actually..smlm dah stat cuti..
disebbkan xleh amik cuti slps raya..
so aku decide ambik la cuti before raya ni..
berbaloi jugak rasanya..
dapat kemas umah..
sambil2 menghidu bau biskut n kek yg mama tgh bakar..
sambil dgr lagu raya..
waahhh seronoknyer
sama mcm suasana masa kecik2 dlu..
aku rasa time mcm ni la br ader feel nak raya..
kalau cuti pas raya..x rasa aper2 sgt..
ermm..btol kot:)

well..smalam dah whole day kemas kat umah..
so pagi  nie..kne siap2 p umah wan pulak kat KL..
smlm dah kol suh dtg pepagi..
ikutkan hati..mmg ngntuk nak sambung tido..
tapi..nnti kalau lambat..majuk pulak wan aku ni..
hah..xper la.. ikutkan ajer la..
asalkan dia rasa seronok..

tak sabar nak aku kemaskan umah dia..
dah pesan mcm2..
nak kne pasang langsir.
susun bunga..
lap itu..
lap ini...
wah larat ker aku ni??... aiyoyo..

so aku decide..
mlm2 sblm raya ni.. tido umah dia la..
temankan wan borak2..
msti mcm2 dia nak cerita..

alrite..
need to go first..
bye..

to my diary..
i will miss to write on u during dis coming raya..
i'll not in here..
so will meet again..after i come back from KamPunG..
so..will let u be accompany with lagu raya ^_^

SelaMat HaRi Raya Lynn:)

Knaper la aku selalu boleh menulis ketika waktu hati ini sedih??..
aku ni someone yg sensitif ker?..
or..aku terlalu mengikut perasaan??..
tapi kenapa perasaan sedeh??
padahal..aku jenis yg happy go lucky..
i want to find why??

and only for this mood i can pull out what are in mind n heart..
but i couldn't mention all..
bcoz i know...
maybe one day.. someone will read this..
so i have to keep certain secret..
let's my own hati shj yg tahu..

now i realize..
my mood n my idea will only come out when i'm sitting alone..
cuz.. when i'm alone..
i keep on thinking bout my life..
then.. i noted dat.. i only can think clearly about my life once i being alone..
so.. bcoz of dat only.. i can write..
it such as something dat keep on jumping in my mind to tell about..
about my feeling..

dat's da reason why my stories were always such kind of moody..
now i know..
dat's me..
i'm a moody person..
am i?

nope.. sometime only..
not always..
i can see from here..
there were not oftenly written on dis blog...
cuz. i'm waiting for my mood to come..
so dat i can conclude here dat..
i'm not da always moody person..
such just in a seldom time..
such as once ..in a blue moon..

dat's lynn i guess...

so..what i can simplyfy here is..
i got lot's of happy time ..
but dat time full of joy..
until i can't even have a time to think about writing dat moment..
but it is vice versa when da time i'm in sad mood..boring n alone..
i got lot's of time wasting.. lot's of time thinking..
n got lot's of idea to write..

am i rite?..

morning..:)
alhamdulillah..setle off my solat subuh.,,
hopE my day today will going smoothly n happily..

bulan puasa ni..
aku x rasa terlalu penat pun mcm tahun2 yg lepas..
feeling so good n relax...
nothing problem with my appetite..

cepatnyer 12 hari berpuasa..
sebelum puasa mmg aku ader azam..
my azam is..'
i want to khatam my quran in the end of this month..
hope i can..

it's left a litle bit chapter only..
now i already done recited surah al-soffan..
tonite maghrib will go to surah al-soth..
alhamdulillah..

by da way..

this quran looks old..

but even i have quite several of it's..

but i only can read dis one until now...

bcoz it's confort me ..

having a clear writings..

none like new one..

da writings are so small..

n i can't clear which is da mark should i read..

one more things is dat y i can't read new one..

bcoz i couldn't trust ..

now days i heard a lot of manipulation that pple done on new quran..

i'm afraid if i read da wrong one..

coz.. sincerely i'm not good in da meaning of it's words..

so da one i can trust is this above..

from i'm was a small kids.. until now..^_^

hope can finish in dis month..
when i read it. i feel so calm..
my heart feel..so empty n clean..
feeling fresh.. like today is a new notes to write in my heart..
whick i can put new color on it and clean it back again when i recite quran tonite..
dat's is what i feel...
it's so miracles

MAY ALLAH BLESS ME...

I can imagine how happy he is..

WELL..
Bila sudah ketemu org yg dicari..
selepas hati saling memiliki..
after decided to be a couple..
both can't wait to update status..
from single to a relationship with.....
just 1 click.. submit to da wall..
everyone will see..

can't wait to see what are pple will comments..
can't wait to reply each of people comments..

i can see dat..
i can  see how happy da person with his new lover.
he is so happy..

may all been bless..
syukur alhamdulillah for him..

atlast he could find someone special....

bismillah..
hrm..dah lama jugak x update my lovely diary..
nak kata bz x jugak..
maybe penat..n suddenly even dah on pun..mcm ngntok jer nak mencatat..

alhamdulillah..
sampai jugak aku ke bulan puasa 2012 ni..
n now.. age pun dah 28 thn..
cepat nyer masa berlalu..

tadi.. masa menunggu waktu maghrib..
sempat jugak aku berpaling ke luar tingkap bilik..
waktu senja yg cantik..
terus aku toleh ke kiri..
mengadap ke sekolah rendah masa aku kecik2 dlu..
sekaligus nampak kawasan kantin skolah..
terus terkenang masa aku darjah 5 or 6..
masa tu kat kantin tu lah..
aku masuk pertandingan menggubah bunga..
jadi johan rasanyer time tu

masa tu.. tetiber jadi berani..
angkat tangan nak masuk pertandingan tu..
ha..br aku ingt.. darjah 5..
masa tu pesaing pun rakan sekelas..

ari nak stat bertanding tu, pepagi aku bg tau mama n mintak dia ajar mcm maner..
so. mama pun tunjuk lah..
dia pun korbankan bunga kat dlm pasu nak tunjuk kat aku cara2 nak gubah..
lentok2 dia..
baru aku tau mcm mana bunga dalam pasu tu bleh lentok n tersusun dgn cantik..
kacang jer upernyer..
bengkok2 kan jer dawai dia..

sampai kat skolah..
cikgu dah sediakan bakul . bunga..n daun besar2..
so terus la aku buat..mcm mama ajar..

cikgu pun leh terkejot tgk creativity aku..
sebijik mcm mak aku ajar hahaha..
aper lagi.. mmber2 sumer statik jer bunger..
tegak2 n lurus ..
aku punyer..siap leh lentok2 lagi..
so.. x pasal2 aku jadi juara ari tu..
balik umah..tunjuk kat mama adiah disebabkan tunjuk ajar yg x smpi 5 minit pg tu hehe..

hah.. x sangka sekali pandang ke arah kantin skolah..
kenangan waktu kecik dlu..
mcm fresh sangat dalam ingatan..
seolah2..
baru 2 thn lepas jer aku kat skolah tu..
mcm x percaya aku dah tinggalkan skolah rendah selama 16 thn..
pergh..lama nyerr..

apalah kaba cikgu2 aku dlu..
semoga sentiasa dibawah jagaan allah..
berkat ajaran cikgu2 dlu..
aku jadi mcm ni skrg..

masa kecik2 dlu.. aku dikategorikan budak pompuan yg nakal n boyish (skolah rendah).. mungkin sbb masa tu ader abg yg jadi guider..
tapi masa skolah menengah..dia tukar jadi sangat lah pemalu.. sbb sorg2 jer kat skolah tu..
abg skolah lain.. so terus jadi kille silent.. n da most shy girl in da world.. OMG.. can't belief dat hehe..

masa masuk U..
still quite shy.. no guys in da list..
only pple dat i'd admired..

working enviroment..
learn to be more friendly..
quite noty.. n always cheerful..

gettin married??...
what will i be??...

alhamdulillah..

hah.. rindunya..masa dulu..
miss dat momen so much...

alhamdulillah..
just finish my tuisyen clas..

hah.. mmg xleh blah la semalam..
konon2 nak tgk ozil..
tersalah schedule plak..
uper2 nyer tonite..kikikikiki..
aparaaa...

by da way.. mmg ader kisah pun semalam..
bersungguh2 aku kunci jam kul 2.05pg utk tgk my Germany fight..
pas lock tu.. terus memaksa mata utk lelap..
aku berjaya dgn jayanyer lelap..
n dengan jayanyer bangun masa dgr alarm...

rushing turun bwh switch on tv..
tgk2 dah start 20mnit already..
ait??.. kata kul 2.15..
wondering nyer..
so.. tgk xder score lagi..
ok la.. still leh tgk ozil..
he's very good player..

then..tgk punyer tgk..punyer tgk...
sampaila minit ke 39..
german shoot one goal..
yeayyyyy....
seronoknyer aku rasa nak lompat2..
tapi sbb tkt org lain bangun..
so.. kawal la..kesopanan tu sikit..

tetiber...
aku rasa..\
mcm pelik..
bila aku tgk jam..
it's was 12.20am..
what??...
i supposed to wake up at 2.05am..
why so early??
no wonder tido rasa mcm skjap sgt dah terbangun..

so.. bila tgk title game tu..
huh.. confirm..
mmg aku ngigau kot..
it was quarter final..
hampeh..
i totally dreaming...
aiyooo..siaran ulangan upernyer..

kul 2.00am smlam time portugal vs spain..
aku x suker portugal sgt..
spain lagi la x bila ingt balik world cup lepas..
vila tu.. hampeh jer..

hah..
so straight away aku tido balik..
tp mmg hampeh smlm..

but no wory...
tonite is mine..
my OZIL..will fight..
chaiyok Ozil..
u can do it...
CHAIYOKKK!!!!

alrite.. better sleep..
simpan tenaga utk kul 2 ni..
yg pasti makesure aku x salah kunci jam cam semalam..
kul 2.05 cik lyn..
not 12.05.. aiyoyoyoyyyyoooo ^_^
^_^

tonight is mine

well..alhamdulillah..
lepas satu paper for exam tadi..
hrmm..

da most important is..
my men tonight..
mr.mesut ozil..
his not handsome..
but his cool..
the way he play..
with his left feet..
nice shoot...
very cool players i ever seen.
whether in game or outdoor.

will wake up just for u.. ^_^
so. germany will be my team..
waiting just for u..

wlupun dah lama euro ni start..
tapi br arini aku langgan kat astro..
untuk tgk ozil.^_^
my islamic hero..

ptg tadi terus dial astro nyer number mintak add euro channel..
spttnyer dr awal2 dah leh add..
tapi fikirkan exam..
nnti x dapat bcer buku plak..
soo.. skrg add la..
lgpun ngam2 jer aku pas paper..

tapi mcm2 problem plak timbul masa order tadi..
1st time order guner msg..
waiting till 10..still not appear in my channel..
woahh..cannot be..

so..xpuas ati pnyer pasal..
n takot x dpt tgk mlm ni..
so.. aku kol balik..
biar ckp dgn operator br puas ati..
huh.. betul sangkaan aku..
x sampai uper nyer msg tu..

so aku apply balik..
dah setle giving some details..
dia leh cakap..
BAIK.. CHANNEL NI AKAN ADER DALAM TEMPOH 24JAM..
APER??!!!!!!

NO WAY...i want tonite..
my men will come tonite..
i want to see him..

so i sad..
please.. can u make it fast..
i want it fast..
she said.. atleast i have to wait within two hours..
the fastest..
wahhh.. i said cannot..cannot..cannot..
how if i can't get..??
she said.. normally customer will receive as soon as possible if report been submitted..

than i tell her truthly..
i want to see da game tonite..
only this game..
this 2 am..
i don't want to watch any other time ... ulangan..i don't want..
i want live...

i think she might be tired to xplain..
finaly she said..
alrite ..
please hang on a moment..
so i wait lorr..

then she said..
alrite cik azlina.. r u infront of ur tv rite now..
i said nope..
but i will go for it now..
so as fast as possible..
move out from my room..
straight away to hall..

she said..
try to turn on channel 802..
YES..I GOT IT..
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

^_^..
it's shows dat..
she can do it fast if she want..
and if I WANT..
heheh..
or she tired listening to my mubling.. kikiki..
well..feel so happy..
tomorow will having beautiful panda eyes to office..
nevermind..
as longg as i can see
my hero.. :)




x sabar nyer kul 2 nie..
nak tgk..nak tgk..nak tgk..^_^
tido skrg la..
kunci jam..
kuatkan bunyik dia...
:)

laSt FriDay..SusHi n BirThdaY time ^_^

huh..4.34am already.. i suppose sleeping rite now..
tadi bangun kul 2lbeh..
bacer buku ler..for exam..
by da way.
ari ni lewat solat isyak..

hrm..smlm mkn malam kyang sgt..
balik terus tido..

alang2 dah bangun malam ni..
ingat nak buat solat tahajud skali..
tapi rasa was2 pulak sbb x bper faham nak buat..
surah aper nak bcer..

aishhh.. kne study ni..
xperlah..
sbb x buat so ganti mengaji ler..
rasa sejuk sgt mengaji tadi..
tenang sbb keliling sgt sunyi..
yg dengar just hujan kejap2 n guruh sikit2..
aper2 pun rasa sangat tenang masa mengaji..
by da way,,
masih separuh lagi alquran tu lom habis..
sbb this yr byk tinggal..
aper2 pun.. aku berazam..
nak abiskan bacaan quran bulan ramadhan ni..
semoga berjaya seperti tahun2yang lepas..
kalau berjaya..
kemungkinan 3 tahun berturut2 la aku khatam bulan ramadhan..
semoga allah menerima bacaan aku..
insyaallah..

ya allah..kuatkan imanku..
semoga dipermudah kan segala urusanku..
amin...

ops.. better go to sleep now..
tomorrow workin..
OT on Sunday as usual ^_^

Seandainya Kau catatkan dia milikku, satukanlah hatinya dgn hatiku

JODOH adalah rahsia Allah, kita MERANCANG dan Allah pun turut sama merancang..cuma kadang-kadang aku TAKUT dengan RENCANA Allah..

Sebab apa?

Sebab aku TIDAK PERNAH tahu apa yang bakal berada di hadapanku kelak, dan apa PENGAKHIRAN yang Allah inginkan buatku, buat hidupku..tiba-tiba hati berbisik, sebenarnya perancangan Allah mengatasi perancangan kita sendiri..buat apa terlalu memikirkan sangat.....kita LALUILAH kehidupan seperti biasa..permulaan itu bermula dari kita, dan pengakhiran itu akan Allah TENTUKAN kelak..BERDOALAH semoga PENGAKHIRAN itu adalah sama seperti yang dirancangkan dan yang TERBAIK dalam hidup... ✿

~ Belum dikatakan dia JODOH kita selagi ‘AKAD’ tidak TERTUNAI ..kadang PERTEMUAN itu ada namun JODOH itu tetap menjadi RAHSIANYA lagi...;)




Add caption

buku time ^_^

hrm..
dah nak exam..
alhamdulillah..cuti for exam aprove:)
tapi tu la pasal..
kne amik ngam2 jer..
hrmm.. x leh amik lelebih sbb officemate dah stat bercuti..
rotate lor..
so kne study awal2 la..
no time free before exam..

hope this sem also will be great or greater than before..
alright..
stay up..
time for study..
chaiyok!!!!

sahur bulan rejab..

alhamdulillah..
br lepas sahur..
too much bread..
very full...
fuhh...

i should prepare for work rite now..
but feel very unbreathful..
cuz rushing send out my mon stuff kat kedai dia..
just reach n sitting on my bed..
listening to da azan subuh..

if i can open my window n see the moon..
i might happier more than now..
now i only can hear the sound of azan..
cannot lookin at the sky..
searching for moon..
and feel the early morning wind..
hrmm...
so nice..

but my room is under renovation..
got lot of dust if i open my window..
so be patient lynn...

alrite..
cannot rite too much..
have to pray..

bye..:)

sakit ati..............

huh.. sakitnyer ati tgk bola tadi..
hampeh...
semuanyer hampeh..
perlu ker malaysia jadi mcm dlu??
dalam masa bbrp minit...
leh plak seri dgn singapore..
x logic..

confirm rasuah punyer pasal..
saper yg tgk n bg support mmg sia2..
penat ...

so once singapore get 2goal..
better x payah tgk...
wasting my time..

what da tuttttttt....
eeee.... fedup nyer..
knp x main secara bersih...
perlu ker bnda ni sumer...
???

pasni...
mmg malas nak bola
especially malaysia ..
blah la...
kalau stakat nak sakitkan hati org yg menyokong..
main jer la bola kt padang skolah...
xyah nak masuk2 tv..

hah.. betul ke rasuah??
arghh..
lantak lah..
mmg sakit ati ni...

alhamdulillah..
today settle up my solat isyak awal..huhu...
so i can write my story until morning .. mcm la panjang sgt cite ni..

by da way..
let's start da part dat i wish to continue last..last..last.. day:)

huh..
well.. bcoz of i think da safe of my parent journey going n come back from malacca..
so i decided.. i want to folo..
my hearth actually..being apart..
part say..folo..
other part says.. nope..
but i do worried of both..
my parent journey..
n my grandmother heart..
she will feel so sad if i'm come late..

so i have to decide.
than i choose.. o to malacca with my parent..
i'm afraid if ayah drive alone at nite..
he must be tired..

than it's true..
he really tired..
we moved out from kg around 10pm..
not yet half way..
my dad need my assist to drive..
cuz he felt sleepy..

so we change lorr..
i drive.. he sleep... so pity my dad..
he so tired dat time..
but he bought me some junk fruits.. to eat..
i ate tembikai..
at lease.. xder la ngantok..

but actually..
that nite.. i was ngntuk...
feel like i really cannot tahan .
feel like want to stop at side of da highway..
luckily got something to chew..
so it hold me a bit from feel sleepy..

i turn back..
i saw my father sleeping..
look's he was in tired..
my mom oso..sleep..

alhamdulillah.. we reach home safely..
i really cannot tahan..
i change my cloth...
than.. sleep..
huh.what a feel...:)

morning..i prepared to go to KL..
visiting my grandma..
i know smthing is not rite..
cuz.. once i reach.
i saw her door.. was close..
she never close door on daytime..
cuz she said.. nnti rezeki x msuk..

from there..
i know already..
my grandma is merajuk oready..
she don't want to open da door to let me in..
but my uncle saw me n open it..

i saw her sitting in da kitchen..silently..
she don't want to make any conversation with me..
she said..
i'm lying on her..
huh...
huhu..

i know it's my false..
but..da times really cannot adjust..
huhu..

let me short da story..
less than 5 mnts..
she ask me to go..
she really angry..

actually i don't want to go..
but i don't want to argue oso..
cuz she got high blood pressure..
i don't want bcoz of me.. her blood will going up pressurely..
i don't want she to be sick..

then i go la..
it's really hurt once i take all my things to go..
really don't want to leave her..
cuz i know.. she's not mean it actually..
but i have to..
to let her cool down..
i'm sad.. to tally sad..
my tears actually feel like cannot cntrol out already..

i prepared.. n take a deep breath bfore going..
luckily i can..
even..my chest actually feel like something stuck on it..
i try to let it cool..
i though want to drive my car go straigh home n cry as much as i can..
cuz nobody can see me inside :)

than i change my mind..
better i go my maklong house nearest there..
can have someone to talk..
i oso quit long didn't meet my maklong's n family..

so i go lor...
that's all..

but until now..
i still miss my grandma voice..
i want to call her.. but i will feel really down if she don't want to answer me..
better be silent than my feeling hurt isn't it..
that's lynn :)

today is sunday...
tomorrow is working day..
today feel mcm byk sgt serba salah..
mcm something not right..
what is dat??

1st dis morning i went to my grandma home in KL..
ut something happen..
it's hurts my feeling..
i almost cry..
but i think.. what for..
i shouldn't follow my heart..
there must be something else to do..
no need cry..

my grandma..really look like childish now on..
she's very sensitive..
it's about.. yesterday..
i know it's my false..
i said i'll come to her house yesterday.. but quit late..
might be in da evening..
but.. it can't be happen..
i only can reach there at nite..
than she said..
if dat so..
no need to come..
i know she merajuk already..
but what can i do..

yesterday my plan was like this..
morning..cancel up my tuisyen class due to attend wedding ceremony for my cousin..
after attending, i suppose to go wan house.. it might be reach there in da evening around 3 or 4pm..
but..
my feeling not stabil when my parent said, they want to visit my another grandma in malacca after da jamuan..
ayah said.. nevermind, he can send me back to klang to take my car.. then only he n mama will go to melaka..
but i think..
it might be really menyusahkan ayah nak anta aku balik klang dr puchong,, then go melaka..
1st, wasting time,
2nd, wasting minyak..
3rd, tired..

huh.. so i think.. disebbkan balik ari jer.. aku decide la..
xper.. aku folo..
nnti balik dr melaka dropkan aku kat umah wan..
lg pun i don't want my father drive alone to melaka pergi n balik..
it must be tired..
i should accompany him..
then we go.....................

to be continue.. cuz i feel so sleepy..
wuarhhhhhgg..
ngntoknyer,